I just want you
by BangelBabe
Summary: AU where the Winchesters are shadowhunters and are raised by the Harvelle family. Ships: John/Mary, Dean/Cas(Jimmy Novak), Sam/Jess. Primarily Supernatural with elements from TMI. Most is explained in the prologue. Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or the mortal instruments, this is purely for artistic expression!
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello! This is my first supernatural fic and I'm a little nervous because I put a lot of thought into this so it's my baby so please be gentle! This is just the prologue and it's pretty lengthy, but I promise the following chapters will be shorter, I just wanted to make sure to give a hearty background to lead you into this crossover! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

It was a late winter night at the University of Kansas. John Winchester had just finished studying for his finals and was leaving the library to get some much needed rest when he noticed a young woman walking alone. She was smaller in stature and looked out of place on the college campus in the middle of the night. Thinking this was an unsafe position for any woman to be in, and given the fact that she was walking in the direction of his dormitory, John decided to follow her at a safe distance. After a while, John noticed that the girl began to pick up speed and then disappeared altogether behind a row of hedges.

Perplexed and worried that he just unwittingly caused the downfall of a poor young woman, John carefully approached the hedge, praying there wasn't an armed gunman awaiting him on the other side. As he was rounding the corner of the hedge, the girl jumped out at him, causing him to jump back several feet in pure shock. She was silent as she stared at him with a daring look in her eyes. Her body was poised and ready to pounce at the slightest movement. John recognized her apprehension and attempted to lighten the situation with a cheerful introduction.

"Hello there! I'm sorry if I scared you back there. I'm not a stalker, I swear, my name's John Winchester, I go to school here and I noticed you walking alone and I—well, I wanted to make sure you made it to your destination safely, that's all." John could feel his heartbeat pounding and hoped that the beautiful woman in front of him couldn't hear it.

The girl relaxed slightly, but was still visibly tense. John couldn't tell if this was because of the present situation or something that had happened to her before their encounter. Then she spoke, "I can take care of myself." Her words were icy and detached, but not at all malicious. The muscles in her arms twitched and John could see now that she was quite muscular, not small and fragile like he originally assumed.

"I see that; my mistake. Have a nice night…" John trailed off hoping she would fill in the blank with her own name.

"Mary." She provided. Her muscles relaxed, but she kept her hand hovered over her belt where John assumed she kept mace in case he tried anything.

"That's a beautiful name." John said. After that a heavy silence settled between the two of them and John figured the conversation was over, so he wished Mary a good night and continued walking back to his dormitory.

"John," Mary called after him, halting his footsteps. He whirled around to face her and she forced a smile. "Would it be alright if I walked with you?"

John chuckled. "Decide that you want a guardian angel after all?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "I'm not the one who needs protecting, jumpy."

John blushed. "I was hoping you didn't see that."

Mary laughed, but then quickly reassured him, "It was adorable."

John could sense that Mary was much more at ease as the two of them began walking back to his dorm, so he kept the conversation going, "So Mary, do you go to school here?"

Mary frowned. Her hands were still positioned at her belt, but her eyes fell to her shoes, as if she was ashamed of the question, or more likely, her answer to the question. "No. My parents won't allow it."

John frowned as well, moving his hands to the straps of his backpack. "I'm sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to have controlling parents. My father wanted me to major in criminal justice and become a partner at his law firm, but I'm much more interested in journalism."

Mary laughed and looked back up at John. "I'm sorry, but that's nothing compared to my parents. It's not just a matter of 'family business' with them. They don't see the point in education for people like us."

"What do you mean?" John asked curiously.

Mary's blue eyes sparkled with innocence and her gaze settled on John with an intensity that made him worry he had overstepped his bounds, but then she replied, "I didn't mean to sound pretentious. My family life is nothing to boast about. It's hard to explain, and I probably shouldn't be talking to you about this, but my ancestors have all believed themselves to be superior to most people just because we tend to be—gifted."

John nodded. "I get what you're saying. It can be tough living in a family of prodigies."

Mary chuckled. "We're probably the furthest thing from prodigies."

"I'm sure that's not true. I may have only known you all of five minutes, but I can tell you're brilliant and I'm sure they are too." John insisted.

"Thanks, but you don't know them like I do. They can be pretty dense. Most of the time they think brawn is better than brains. Not that having brains means anything when you are overpowered by a—Never mind." Mary shook her head and glanced around; as if she were worried she might be seen talking to this strange man that she just met on a college campus in the middle of the night.

They were now outside of John's dormitory and he would have invited Mary inside had he not noticed Mary's sudden shift in demeanor and thought better of it. "Well, it was very nice meeting you, Mary. I hope you have a nice night." As he headed up the walk toward his dorm, he turned to see that Mary had not left his side.

Mary looked like she was trying to piece together what to say in her head before she finally blurted out the words, "For what it's worth, I'm glad you started following me and I'm really glad I met you tonight. I was having a pretty shitty day and you just made it a thousand times better." With that she leaned forward and gave John a light peck on the cheek before vanishing into the darkness.

John stared at the spot that she had stood a moment before, perplexed and silently cursed himself for not asking for her number. The woman of his dreams might have just walked in and out of his life in the same instant and he did nothing to stop her from leaving.

* * *

Two weeks passed by and John hadn't seen any trace of Mary since the night they'd met. He hadn't expected to see her again, but deep down he hoped that she had felt the same connection that he had and would show up in his life once more.

One day, a week after finals were over, John was packing his things when he happened to glance outside his window and see a familiar figure sitting out on the park bench. John blinked his eyes several times to make sure his imagination wasn't running away with him, but sure enough it was her, still as a statue, her regal beauty entranced him for a moment before he shook himself out of his reverie. Quickly, before she disappeared again, John rushed outside to meet her.

Mary wasn't sure how long she had been sitting on the bench before she noticed John walking out towards her. Her nose was reddened from the cold and she could hardly feel her extremities, but her suspicions about the young man before her were confirmed: he had the Sight. It hadn't been long since she applied the glamour rune to her forearm and felt the familiar tingling as it took effect, shielding her from the eyes of all mundane beings save a select few. Mary was very practiced at applying runes to herself; she often drew a glamour rune on her arm and meandered around the college campus as she had the night she met John Winchester, observing and admiring the behaviors of young adults with their whole lives stretched out before them. She would watch these students and envy them, for unlike her, they were not confined to the life of a shadowhunter.

"I have to be honest; I never thought I'd see you again." John's kind, cheery words snapped Mary out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, well, I figured I'd give you a second chance." Mary winked.

John raised an eyebrow, "A second chance for what?"

"To ask me out… That is the real reason you started stalking me that night, isn't it?" Mary smirked when John cringed at the memory, "So are you going to ask me or what?"

John chuckled nervously. He definitely was not used to women being so blunt with him, but he had to admit he loved how cocky this girl was. "Well, I was just about to head home for the holidays, but if I'm home early my father will most certainly put me to work at his law firm, so how about we see a movie this weekend?"

Mary frowned, "I don't want you to change your plans just for me..."

"Please, you'd be doing me a favor. Plus, I don't mind changing my plans for such a pretty girl as you." John smiled shyly.

Mary grinned from ear to ear. "Great, then it's a date!"

* * *

The next two weeks passed by fast and slow simultaneously. John and Mary spent almost every waking second together, telling each other things they had never told anyone before. Mary told John all about her shadowhunter heritage and how much she resented fighting demons and John promised her he would take her away from it all when he graduated college. Mary's suspicions of John having the Sight were further confirmed when he admitted to her that he had seen a demon as a child and even smelled the dank scent of garbage which was a strong indicator of demon presence, though his father had dismissed it as an overactive imagination and a messy room.

After spending Christmas at home with his folks, John returned to school and spent New Year's Eve with Mary. As the ball dropped at midnight John made a resolution with himself that he would spend the rest of his life with this woman. He had fallen hard and fast and he could no longer imagine his life without her. John decided this was the woman he wanted to marry, and being old fashioned he wanted to meet her parents to ask for their permission. The next day, he brought this up while lounging on the sofa in his dormitory's common room with Mary.

"So when am I going to meet your parents?" John asked, tucking a loose tendril of Mary's hair behind her ear.

Mary suddenly sat upright. John had not seen her this tense since the night they'd met. "Why do you want to meet them?"

"I just figured it was about time. Aren't your parents curious about whom you're dating?"

Mary was chewing her bottom lip nervously. "Actually..."

"You haven't told them about me." John finished for her, his confidence quickly deflating. Maybe she wasn't as confident in their relationship as he was. Perhaps he was just a fling for her.

"It's not you, it's them." Mary defended.

John laughed. "Yeah, I've heard that one before."

"No, I'm serious." Mary looked wary. "They are very judgmental and extremely persuasive. I just don't want them to get to you."

"I'm sure they can't be that bad." John insisted.

Mary gave him a stern look. "They aren't bad people. They're actually really nice. That's the problem. They act kind and treat you like a member of the family and then they use backhanded compliments to get in your head and convince you to do something you don't really want to do."

"Sounds like my father." John muttered begrudgingly, then his tone softened, "I understand if you don't want me to meet them. I just figured I ought to know the people I'm stealing you away from." He winked, reminding her of his promise.

Mary sighed. "When you put it that way it actually sounds logical."

John smirked, knowing that was exactly the reason he brought it up.

"I hope I don't regret this. I'll set something up for next weekend." Mary conceded.

John kissed Mary on the forehead. "I love you."

"Yeah I know." Mary stuck out her tongue childishly.

* * *

The following weekend, Mary met John at his dormitory and they drove to her parents' house together. John had picked up a bouquet of white lilies as a peace offering for Mary's mother despite her protests.

"You really don't have to butter them up. There's going to be plenty of that tonight." Mary argued.

John clucked his tongue. "This isn't the first time I've met a girl's parents, Mary. I know that I need to make a good impression, especially since…" He trailed off as they approached the front door and he felt a sudden lump forming in his throat.

Mary turned to face John. "Change your mind? It's not too late to back out. I can tell them you had a family emergency and we can spend tomorrow together…"

"Mary," John said sternly. "I'm not backing out, just nervous. I've never been in love when I've met a girl's parents before, that's all."

John smiled and stared deep into Mary's eyes which only caused her to fall deeper under his spell. Mary stood on her tiptoes to give John a quick, tender peck on the lips before turning back to the door and inserting her key into the lock.

As soon as they stepped over the threshold Mary's parents were upon them like vultures.

"They're here! Oh, I've been anxious about this meeting all week, hello dear, I'm Deanna and this is my husband Samuel. Welcome to our home." Mary's mother seemed very flustered and John could see where Mary got her nervous babbling from.

"John Winchester, it's a pleasure to meet you ma'am." At this point John offered over the bouquet of lilies. Deanna took them graciously and disappeared into the kitchen to find a vase for them, tittering excitedly about what a gentleman John was as she went.

Mary's father was much less inviting. He stood stoically in the foyer glaring down at John, almost unblinking.

After a while of silence between the two men, John spoke up and extended his hand for the older man to shake, "It is nice to meet you as well, sir."

The older man accepted the handshake, but stayed silent until their hands parted. "You know, John, when animals fight the one that initiates contact is generally the one that loses the battle."

"Dad, can we please not with the wild animal metaphors tonight?" Mary begged.

John shrugged. "I don't mind losing battles as long as I win the wars."

Samuel's hard exterior shattered as he cracked a smile. "I like you're thinking, boy. Come, I'll show you my arsenal in the den."

"You have your weapons on display?" John asked through the lump that was beginning to reform in his throat.

Samuel's booming laugh could be heard from the other room. "Where else would I keep them?"

At that moment Deanna requested Mary's assistance in the kitchen so John started to join Samuel in the den, but not before Mary squeezed his hand and wished him luck. John got the usual lecture about treating Mary right or her father would have his head, though this time it was slightly more severe. Mary had explained all about shadowhunters and their customs in an attempt to prepare him for this meeting, but it didn't quite prepare him for the sheer intensity of Samuel, who seemed menacingly friendly, if that were even possible.

When dinner was ready everyone sat down to eat and at first the conversations ceased while the plates were piled with food. Then everyone was busy stuffing their mouths, but the peace was broken by Samuel's gruff voice.

"So, John, how many demons have you killed?"

John nearly choked on his mouthful of food.

"Samuel, no hunter discussion at the dinner table, you know that!" Deanna scolded.

John took a sip of his drink and glanced at Mary who gave him an I-told-you-so look.

"It's a simple question, Deanna. It doesn't have to launch a heated debate." Samuel insisted, shoveling more food into his mouth.

Deanna reprimanded her husband again, "Save it for after dinner, I won't tell you again!" Her voice was shrill and annoyed and Samuel backed off for the remainder of the meal.

When everyone was finished eating, Mary started to clear the table and John stood up to help her when Deanna shooed him away. "No, no, you're the guest, you sit while I go get dessert."

John smiled politely, "Oh, I don't know if I'll have room, that dinner was fantastic, Deanna."

Mary's mother smiled back warmly and proceeded to pass out dessert plates anyway. As Deanna was serving up the confection, Samuel turned to John and once again interrogated him on his kill count.

Deanna held up the knife she was using to serve the angel food cake and waved it at her husband, "What did I tell you?!"

"You said to save the discussion until after dinner, but we are no longer eating dinner." Samuel explained as he sat back in his chair looking smug.

Deanna's face turned bright red and John feared her head might actually explode if he didn't step in soon.

"It's okay, really, it's a simple question." John assured. "And actually, I'm not—"

John was cut off when Mary jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow and gave him a sidelong glance, warning him not to finish his statement.

Unfortunately Samuel knew his daughter too well. "Now Mary, let the boy finish. You're not what?" There was a glint of suspicion in the older man's eyes that chilled John to his core. Maybe he was better off heeding his girlfriend's unspoken advice.

"I was just going to say that I'm not comfortable disclosing the number of demons that I've killed." John covered.

Samuel scoffed. "Like hell you aren't."

John frowned, "I beg your pardon, sir?"

"You think I'm stupid, boy?" The fire behind Samuel's eyes was dangerously fierce.

"Of course I don't, sir. I just don't think as shadowhunters we should boast about our spoils." John amended.

Samuel grunted, "Don't use that word as if you are one of us. I saw your hand when I shook it, you're no shadowhunter!"

John glanced down at his hands, then back up at Samuel in confusion. Suddenly it dawned on him when Samuel displayed the back of his own right hand which prominently showed the Voyance rune etched permanently on his skin in black ink. John shot a concerned glance at Mary who was grimacing.

Deanna cleared her throat. "That's enough, Samuel. Leave the poor boy alone this instant!"

"Did you know our daughter brought a _mundane_ into our home, Deanna?" Samuel asked.

"As a matter of fact, I did. Mary told me all about John while we were preparing dinner. He's a very fine young man who happens to have _the Sight_ and whom our daughter loves very much." Deanna replied coolly.

"Oh, you love him do you, sweetheart?" Samuel asked with a cutting edge to his voice.

"I do." Mary's voice was small and quiet. John had never heard her so timid before.

Samuel turned his attention to John then. "And you. Do you love my daughter?"

Unlike Mary at this moment, John had never felt more confident so he proudly stated, "With all my heart."

Samuel nodded. "So you want to marry her then?"

"If she'll have me," John answered.

Mary suddenly did not like where this conversation was headed; her father looked entirely too pleased by John's admittance that he wanted to marry her.

Mary's voice cracked as she asked, "I pray to the Angel you aren't thinking what I think you are, daddy."

Samuel ignored his daughter and continued grilling John. "So you plan to ascend?"

John stared at the older man, dumbstruck. Mary had never mentioned anything about ascension when she told him about her heritage. Mary saved him from responding though, "No, he doesn't."

Samuel finally turned his attention to his daughter. "I think the boy can speak for himself, Mary."

"I think you should keep your nose out of other people's business, old man." Mary snapped, sounding more like herself.

"You better watch your tone, young lady. You still live under my roof." Samuel retorted.

"Fuck your roof! John wants no part in this life and neither do I! As soon as John graduates we're moving as far away from this accursed place as possible!" Mary was seething mad with tears in her eyes as she stared down her father who met her gaze with equal intensity.

Deanna wailed, "Please stop fighting! Nobody is making any decisions tonight, let's all just go into the den and try to calm down."

Samuel sighed and glanced quickly at the dessert still sitting on the table waiting to be served. He turned his gaze to focus on his wife and apologized for his behavior and stormed out of the room.

When her father was out of earshot Mary turned to John and pleaded with him to leave before things got much worse. John however would not let things end this way with his future in-laws. Even if he was taking Mary away from this life forever, he did not want to be remembered for breaking up a somewhat happy home.

"I'm just going to go speak with your father. I might be able to talk some sense into him." John kissed Mary on the forehead and started off toward the den when she grasped his arm in her hands and held him back.

"Please don't. We aren't like mundanes; you really don't have to make a good impression on my parents." Mary said.

"You're right; you aren't a mundane, which is why you don't understand that I have to do this. I have to let him know you'll be taken care of with me. I owe him that much." John brought his hand up to caress Mary's cheek and she placed her own hand over his affectionately.

"Be careful." She whispered.

"I always am," He assured her.

In the den, Samuel was sitting in a tall backed leather armchair sipping from a glass of whiskey. When John entered the room he looked up only briefly before focusing his attention back to the ice in his drink. John stood a few feet away, watching Samuel carefully for any signs of hostility.

"I just wanted to say I understand your reluctance to accept me into your family. It's hard for any father to accept that his daughter is growing up and no longer needs him anymore." John started to explain.

Samuel groaned, "Not that I don't appreciate a good cliché speech, but you really have no idea what you are talking about." He took a swig of his whiskey before continuing, "Don't you dare try to tell me my baby girl doesn't need me. You have no idea the difficulties our kind face."

John tried to refrain from rolling his eyes out of respect. "That's where you're wrong. She's told me all about your _kind_. About how dangerous it is to have to fight demons that 90% of the world can't see, let alone appreciate the people that are rescuing them."

"So then you realize that because of her blood, she will never be free from the Clave and any children you will have with her are technically their property."

John raised an eyebrow at Samuel's asinine words. "What is the Clave? Mary never mentioned them."

Samuel finished off his whiskey and set his glass down. "Simply put, it's our government."

"What kind of government takes possession of its people's children?" John asked, outraged.

"Pretty fucked up, ain't it? That's the law though. Shadowhunter blood is a rare and precious thing, so our leaders feel the need to control it." Samuel stated matter-of-factly.

"Don't the kids have any choice in the matter?" John inquired.

"Of course they do, every year after their twelfth birthday the child is offered the chance to leave their family for the Clave, but they'd have to cut all ties." Samuel replied.

"That's bullshit." John declared, clenching his hands into fists. "Someone ought to do something about it."

"There's nothing you can do, it is the law. There are other options within the confines of the law though." Samuel mentioned casually.

"Ascension," John guessed.

Samuel smiled up at the younger man. "Precisely; are you aware of how it works?"

"No, but Mary didn't seem to like the idea." John remarked.

"Mary can be a bit dramatic. Really, it's your best option if you want to keep your family together." Samuel stated nonchalantly.

John was becoming increasingly agitated with Samuel's indifference, "Are you going to tell me whatever it is you're getting at or are you just going to keep me guessing?"

"Very well, ascension is an arduous task completed by mundanes in order to become shadowhunters. I'm not going to lie and say it is an easy feat; many who attempt to ascend fail, but you seem strong and dedicated enough to succeed." Samuel explained.

John almost laughed out loud. "Mary warned me you'd try to do this. Use backhanded compliments in order to manipulate me into doing your bidding."

Samuel smirked. "Am I though? We both know you will do what is best for Mary. Do you really want to take her away from her mother? What happens if you are out working at your mundane job and she needs help with the children? Do you think you will be able to get to them before tragedy strikes?"

"Enough!" John was beyond angry. This was all a game to Samuel, yet still John couldn't help wondering if maybe somewhere in that thick skull the old man had a point.

"All I'm saying is consider it." Samuel muttered just as Mary walked into the room.

"I heard shouting, is everything okay?" Mary asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

John took her hand in his. "Everything's fine. I think I'm ready to go now. It was… something meeting you, Samuel."

Samuel chuckled, "Pleased to make your acquaintance as well, John Winchester."

* * *

Three weeks passed before John proposed to Mary. She was elated and of course said yes. This was when John brought up the idea of ascension again. He had been studying The Shadowhunters Codex in his free time and became fascinated with the culture. Mary's mood almost immediately turned sour.

"Are you crazy?! You could die! At best you'd go insane!" Mary shrieked.

"That only happens to the weaker mundanes." John argued.

"Who **are** you? You're calling your own race mundane! You sound like my father." Mary gasped, "That's it isn't it. He got to you! I knew I shouldn't have let you talk to him alone."

John grasped both of Mary's hands in his own and stared deep into her eyes. "He didn't get to me. It's still me, your stalker. I just can't help but wonder…"

"You wonder if you'd be happier as a shadowhunter than a mundane." Mary said in a cold, dead voice.

"Not happier, just safer. I want to be able to protect you." John confessed.

Mary could feel the tears threatening to form behind her eyes. "You don't need to protect me. I just need you to love me. Is that not enough for you?"

John wiped away a single tear that fell from her eye. "Of course it is. I'm sorry I mentioned it. I won't bring it up again."

Mary could hear the disappointment in his tone even as he said the words and she knew she couldn't hold him to that promise. He actually genuinely wanted to be a shadowhunter. Who was she to crush his dreams?

"Are you sure this is really what you want?" Mary asked.

John kissed her soft lips and nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "All I want is you."

Mary pulled away from him. "I don't want you to resent me. If you truly want to ascend, you can."

John sat upright. "I do. I've wanted this more than I've wanted anything in my life," He took a moment to trace the outline of her lips with his thumb, "Well, almost anything."

* * *

John's training commenced the following day. He pushed himself mentally and physically in the weeks to follow leading up to his ascension. He ended up dropping out of school to focus more on his training. Mary helped by sparring with him and she had to admit he was pretty damn good.

Soon the day came and although nerves ran high when John drank from the mortal cup, he passed with flying colors and officially became a fully fledged shadowhunter.

Not long after his ascension, Mary and John were married. The ceremony was a small one, but a traditional shadowhunter wedding nonetheless. Soon after the wedding, Mary announced she was pregnant. Mary and John had their own place at that point, but while she was with child John insisted she stay with her parents while he was out hunting so that she would be safe.

Meanwhile, John was making quite the name for himself among the demon realms. Almost every night he would be out hunting and slaying the 'scum of the earth'. The name Winchester became simultaneously hated and feared among the entire demon world.

* * *

Four years passed and all seemed to be going well. John got along much better with Samuel and Mary appreciated having her mother to help out with her rambunctious son, Dean. Everything was almost perfect and Mary was beginning to think the life of a shadowhunter was not all that bad. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end. One night while John was out on a hunt, the Campbell household was attacked by a flurry of demons. The adults fought hard to protect their home, but Deanna and Samuel were killed in the attack. Mary managed to flee with Dean before the next wave of demons attacked. When John returned to find the house in ruins and both of his in-laws dead, he feared the worst for his wife and son. Fortunately the family was reunited and fled together to a state where there was less demon activity. Mary soon found out she was pregnant with their second child and after what happened back in Kansas, John vowed to stop hunting so that he would be able to protect his growing family.

Things quieted down for a time and baby Sam was brought into a healthy, happy family. Regrettably, six months after Sam was born one of the surviving demons from the attack on the Campbell house found the Winchesters. He was in the nursery when Mary discovered him.

"Sammy! Please, leave him alone. He's just a baby!" Mary sobbed, begging for her newborn's life.

The demon stroked baby Sam with a long, thin finger and grimaced at Mary. "Why should I? You and your wretched husband slaughtered my kin with no remorse."

Sam began to fuss in his crib and Mary crooned to him before returning her attention to the demon. "We haven't been hunting anymore. We just want to be left alone. Please, have mercy."

"Mercy? Bah!" The demon scoffed. "You realize you are talking to the ' _scum of the earth'_ as your husband puts it?"

"Please, whatever you want from me just take it, but leave my baby boy out of it, he's an innocent!" Mary begged.

The demon laughed. It was a harsh, metallic sound. "Very well, you wish to plead the life of your infantile son? I shall take yours instead!"

Mary was shaking with fear as she whispered, "No. There must be another way."

The demon guffawed. "I'm all out of sympathy at the moment, but I'm starving for vengeance. Will you take my offer or not?"

Mary stared the demon dead in the eye. "Promise you will leave my family alone. Have your vengeance with me and leave this place and never come back!"

The demon groaned, "Fine."

The demon did not keep his promise though. After he took Mary's life, as if he were still hungry for vengeance, he set their house on fire. John raced into the nursery to rescue Sam who had begun wailing at the top of his lungs and sprinted to Dean's room, placing the infant in his eldest son's arms and telling him to run outside as fast as he could. John made his way back to the nursery to retrieve his wife's body, but it was too late; the blaze consumed the entire room and there was nothing left of poor Mary Winchester.

John wasted no time in piling his boys into his 1967 Chevy Impala and drove until he found salvation at the Nebraska Institute run by Ellen and Bill Harvelle. John stayed at the Institute with the boys for a while before he began growing restless and took off on regular hunting trips to try and track down the demon that killed Mary. Bill and John had grown close over the course of the two years that the Winchesters lived at the Institute, so Bill joined him on these trips.

* * *

Meanwhile, the boys were raised for the most part by Ellen who had a child of her own not long after John and Bill started hunting together. Dean, Sam, and Jo grew up to be very close and trained together to be Shadowhunters.

* * *

 **A/N: That's the prologue! Please leave a review with any criticisms or if you have any ideas for what you want to see in this fic! Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Beginning

**A/N: Hello again! Here is the first official chapter of the story. It just jumps right in, so hopefully you like it!**

"HELP US!" A shrill voice called out from a dark alleyway just as Dean Winchester and James Novak were passing by on their way to the Institute after a long day of hunting.

Dean was the first to spring into action, pulling his seraph blade from his belt and clearly stating the name of an angel to access its power before turning to his companion. "Ready to gank some demons?"

Jimmy also had his seraph blade out and was just naming it when Dean practically skipped into the alley toward the source of the screaming. Jimmy couldn't help but admire his best friend as he followed him into battle. Dean always became energized at the prospect of killing demons no matter how exhausted he actually was; this got Dean into a lot of trouble which Jimmy always had to get him out of. Not that Jimmy would ever complain about saving Dean from a sticky situation.

Jimmy finally caught up to Dean at the end of the alley and found a Drevak demon snarling at two frightened girls. Dean was already advancing on the beast, verbally taunting it which of course only made it angrier. Luckily, that was all the distraction Jimmy needed to get the girls safely out of harm's way before helping Dean send the damned creature back to hell.

When the demon was slayed, Dean wiped the ichor off his blade and re-sheathed it before flashing a giant, white grin at his parabatai. "What a rush! I gotta say though, I'm a little disappointed there was only one."

Jimmy put his blade back in his belt and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "I'm not. You need your rest, Dean. It's not good for your health to fight at half strength."

Dean waved his best friend off. "I'm young, I'll live. Besides, I have enough adrenaline pumping through my veins right now to keep me going for days!"

The two walked out of the alley to find the damsels waiting for them. There was no longer any fear in their eyes once they got a clear look at Dean's face. This came as no surprise to Jimmy who was accustomed to being a third wheel around his parabatai and attractive young women.

One of the girls, a blonde with dark brown eyes, spoke first, "You saved our lives! How can we ever repay you?"

"We're just doing our part to keep the city safe, ladies." Dean replied nonchalantly.

The second woman, a brunette, then spoke up and batted her hazel eyes at Jimmy. "That's a shame, after a near death experience like that I'm feeling a little bit… revved up." She added with an overly seductive wink for emphasis, in case he didn't get the hint.

Dean smirked and raised an eyebrow in Jimmy's direction. "Well, I am still high on adrenaline right now. What d'ya say, Jim?"

"I think I'm actually going to call it a night. You three have fun though." Jimmy smiled awkwardly and started off in the direction of the Institute.

Dean called after him, "Alright then, your loss!"

Jimmy could hear the girls giggling as Dean no doubt turned on the charm to max power. Jimmy had gotten used to Dean's nightly liaisons even though he found the lifestyle a bit distasteful himself.

* * *

When Jimmy arrived at the Institute he found the main room mostly empty save Sam, Dean's younger brother, who had his nose buried in a book. Jimmy started to skirt around the sofa toward the stairs, but he wasn't aloof enough and Sam caught him.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked Jimmy the minute the preteen noticed that the older boy was alone.

"He met up with some… friends." Jimmy covered, almost forgetting for a second that he was talking to an impressionable thirteen year old boy.

"So why didn't you go with him?" Sam asked innocently.

Jimmy sighed, trying to keep his voice steady to keep his real feelings from showing through. "I'm pretty worn out from hunting. Dean may have a limitless supply of energy, but I actually need some sleep or I will be useless to him tomorrow."

Sam nodded in understanding and turned back to the book in his lap.

Jimmy couldn't help himself and asked, "What are you reading?"

"Romeo and Juliet," Sam responded without looking up from the pages. "We're reading it in lit. It's pretty fascinating actually."

Jimmy stared at the book, confused, "How so?"

Sam finally looked up at James. "It's about a guy and girl from two different families that are feuding, but despite that they fall in love."

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster." Jimmy stated in a monotone.

Sam shrugged. "I think it's interesting. And Jess says it's romantic."

Jimmy almost rolled his eyes. Of course this had to do with a girl, and not just any girl, but the only girl Sam has had a crush on since kindergarten. Dean often complained about the wicked temptress that was turning his own brother against him. James however did not have a problem with Sam's love interest. Truth be told, he was actually a little bit jealous.

"I'll be in my room if you need me." Jimmy dismissed himself and Sam went back to reading avidly.

* * *

Dean returned from his escapades to find the Institute dark and deadly quiet. Sam was curled up on the sofa in the den with a book clutched to his chest. Dean held back a chuckle at his studious little brother. For as much crap as he gave the poor kid for being a nerd, he loved him to death and would go to the ends of the Earth if it guaranteed his safety.

Dean slowly untied his shoelaces and slipped off his boots so that he could creep up to his room without waking anyone. As he stealthily slunk up the stairs, he noticed a stream of light coming from underneath one of the bedroom doors.

Just as Dean was sneaking passed the room, the door swung inward and there she stood wearing a frilly white night gown and fuzzy slippers with her hair in pigtails.

Dean cringed as he turned to face her. "You shouldn't be awake," he scolded, though there was no authority in his tone and she knew it.

"And you should have been home hours ago." The girl stated flatly.

"Jo, your mom will kill me if she finds out I kept you up, so just go back to sleep, okay?" Dean pleaded.

Jo stuck out her bottom lip, exactly the way she always did to get her way with Dean. "I couldn't sleep. I was too worried."

Dean sighed. "I can take care of myself, Jo."

"I know you can, but I feel safer when you're here to protect me." Jo admitted.

Dean knelt down to the girl's level so that he could look her in the eyes. "We've been over this. The institute is the safest place you can be. This place is warded against demons and your mom would never let anything happen to you."

Jo's bottom lip quivered slightly. "I know that, I just get so scared, especially at night. And it's even worse when dad's out hunting with John."

Dean pushed one of her pigtails behind her ear and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Tell you what, on nights when our dads are away on hunting trips, I will make sure to make it home before dark, but you have to promise that you will actually go to sleep; deal?"

Jo wrapped her arms around Dean's neck, "Deal!"

* * *

Jimmy laid awake on his mattress, straining to listen for his parabatai's footsteps to fade away as Dean continued walking down the hallway toward his own bedroom. When he could no longer hear the familiar pitter patter, he closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep with happy memories.

 _Jimmy was petrified as he stood cornered by a fierce Kuri demon. The vicious beast was snapping its sharp pincers at him and eying him hungrily with eight equally frightening eyes. The small boy could no longer keep the tears from falling down his cheeks and splashing onto the pavement below. This was it; James Novak was going to die at the ripe age of twelve._

 _Just then, as if sent from the Angel above to answer Jimmy's dying prayers, a stout blond boy covered in marks came to his rescue. The boy couldn't have been any older than Jimmy, but he wielded his seraph blade coolly and confidently, as if he had been born with it in his hand._

 _"_ _Adriel!" the boy shouted and his blade blazed to life. "Come at me you big, ugly goon!"_

 _With that, the Kuri skittered over toward the boy, forgetting about his previous prey. Jimmy had been so distracted by the sudden appearance of his new ally that he didn't even consider drawing his own blade to help slay the demon until he heard the boy shout again. There was something about the boy's voice that yanked Jimmy out of his trance and gave him an extra jolt of energy to spring into action._

 _He called upon the angel, Camael, to power his seraph blade which instantly glowed. While the Kuri was preoccupied with the blond boy, Jimmy drove his blade through its abdomen. The giant spider demon bellowed in pain and tried to spin around to face Jimmy, but the other boy hacked off its head before it got the chance. All that remained of the demon quickly melted into a puddle of oozing black ichor and the blond boy shouted triumphantly._

 _"_ _Nice moves!" the boy exclaimed excitedly._

 _Jimmy finally got a good look at the boy and nearly gasped. His face was peppered with freckles which were almost hidden beneath a layer of grime. Yet still, the boy was beautiful. His eyes were perhaps the most striking of all. They were a light green and appeared to actually be sparkling. Jimmy had to forcibly look away so that he could come up with a comprehensible reply. Unfortunately, all he could muster was a sheepish, "Thanks."_

 _"_ _I'm Dean by the way." the boy held out his hand for Jimmy to shake; such a gentleman._

 _Jimmy shook Dean's hand. "My name's James, but you can call me Jimmy… I guess."_

 _"_ _Jimmy… That's a little too babyish for me. How do you feel about 'Jim'?" Dean asked._

 _Jimmy smiled shyly. "I like it."_

* * *

Jimmy awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon wafting from downstairs. He peeked open a single eye and was instantly blinded by a stray ray of sunshine that had snuck in around his curtains. Groaning, Jimmy pushed himself up from the mattress and stumbled across the room to his dresser where he pulled out a plain white t-shirt to put on before drudging downstairs to find a giant mug of coffee.

Dean was already awake, humming as he fried eggs in copious amounts of bacon grease. There was already a plate of bacon on the counter, so Jimmy helped himself to two slices. Dean turned around and smiled warmly at his parabatai. "Good morning."

Jimmy merely grunted in response. As adorable as Dean was in the mornings, James would never be as perky as him upon first waking up. Fortunately, Dean was aware of his best friend's handicap and provided him with an already made cup of liquid energy. Jimmy gratefully accepted the piping hot beverage and took a generous sip.

Dean wrinkled his nose. "I don't know how you drink that stuff. It's basically sugar milk."

"It beats the alternative which is way too bitter for my liking." Jimmy countered.

Dean shook his head and set a plate of eggs in front of Jimmy. "Well, eat up! We've got a big day ahead of us."

Jimmy slowly began to dive into his breakfast, but kept a wary eye on Dean. "What do you mean?"

"I was looking into the recent demon activity reports and there is supposedly a shitload of the dirty scum about a block away from Mabel's Diner. I figured we could pop in there, gank a few demons, then get some pie on the way home to celebrate." Dean said, rubbing his palms together.

Jimmy had stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth and was studying Dean anxiously. His parabatai was a bit worse for wear lately, with dark gray circles permanently residing beneath his eyes, of which had lost their sparkle and now just looked dull and tired. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea, Dean." Jimmy finally said.

Dean immediately became defensive, "Why not?"

Realizing that Dean's masculinity was very fragile, Jimmy decided to tread lightly around the topic. "I'm still pretty worn out from the week we've had. I just need a day to recuperate, that's all."

Dean nodded in understanding. "Sure Jim, take as much time as you need. You know where to find me if you need me."

Jimmy nearly choked on his coffee. "You're still going?"

"Well sure, why not? Evil doesn't take a siesta." Dean replied.

"But Dean, you shouldn't go without backup. It's not safe. What if something happens?" Jimmy argued.

Dean was visibly agitated. "Relax; I can take care of myself. I was doing a fine job of it before you showed up."

Jimmy frowned. "That's not the point, Dean. Even the most experienced shadowhunters can't fight alone. Look at your father!"

Anger suddenly flashed in Dean's eyes. "You leave him out of this."

"Why? Your father goes on hunting trips with Bill all the time because he recognizes it's not safe to go alone. Why can't you take a lesson from him?" Jimmy pleaded.

"I am **not** my father." Dean barked.

Jimmy could tell that his parabatai was slipping away from him. He had to reel this argument in, fast. "Dean, I only meant that you need me as much as I need you. We're a team, that's what you agreed to when you asked me to become your parabatai. Please, just wait one more day. We can go tomorrow when we're both feeling refreshed."

Dean sighed, "Fine. I'll be at the diner if you need me."

"Thank you, Dean." Jimmy said. Dean nodded absentmindedly and wandered out of the kitchen, leaving Jimmy alone to finish his breakfast.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	3. Bonding

**A/N: It's been too long since I've posted a new chapter and I apologize! I hope you enjoy it, this chapter gets pretty angsty, but I hope the ending makes up for that!**

Jimmy was staring into his coffee bleakly when Ellen Harvelle entered the kitchen. Her hair was wet around her shoulders and she wore a simple blue flannel button down with faded jeans.

"Get into another fight with Dean this morning?" Ellen asked.

"Yes. How did you…" Jimmy trailed off midsentence. "You could hear us." He provided glumly.

Ellen poured herself a cup of coffee and warmed her hands on the ceramic mug. "You want my advice?"

Jimmy poked at the remaining eggs on his plate, having no desire to eat them. "Sure."

"Dean doesn't realize how selfish and reckless he is behaving. Even before he started hunting he was always getting himself into harm's way somehow." Ellen said.

"How did you handle it then?" Jimmy asked, looking up at Ellen hopefully.

"I mostly hoped he would grow out of it and when I became pregnant I prayed my child would be nothing like him." Ellen answered honestly.

Jimmy sighed and replied in a sarcastic tone, "Great."

Ellen chuckled. "He's not entirely a lost cause. Sometimes he just needs a taste of his own medicine."

"What do you mean?" Jimmy asked.

"In case you haven't noticed, Dean becomes super cautious when someone he loves is in immediate danger. I remember once when Sam had gotten too close to a loose dog at the park Dean swooped into action like a mother hen and picked that little boy up so fast I think I got vertigo just watching them." Ellen recalled.

Jimmy pondered her words for a moment. "So you're saying I need to risk my life to make Dean see the error in his ways?"

"Heavens, no! That would be irresponsible of me as the head of the Institute!" Ellen exclaimed with an overdramatic air in her voice, adding a wink to make sure Jimmy got the hint.

"I see. Thanks for the advice, Ellen. I'll take that into consideration." Jimmy winked back, though a little too obviously because Jo came in at exactly that moment and noticed.

"Take what into consideration?" Jo asked curiously.

"Nothing," Ellen answered immediately.

"C'mon mom, I hate being out of the loop!" Jo whined.

Ellen set her mug down and placed her hands on her hips, firmly staring down her preadolescent daughter. "Why aren't you ready for school?"

Jo avoided her mother's eyes. "I'm not going to school."

Ellen moved carefully over to her daughter, placing a hand on her forehead. "Are you feeling alright?"

Jo retreated away from Ellen, still refusing to look up at her. "I'm fine, mom, I just don't want to go to school anymore."

"Oh? And why is that?" Ellen asked.

"I just don't see why I have to. Dean dropped out, so why can't I?" Jo said, looking down at her feet.

Ellen reached for Jo and lifted her chin so that she could look into her eyes. "You are _not_ Dean. And you are way too young to drop out."

"Dean didn't even go to school!" Jo shouted, tears forming in her eyes.

"Joanna Beth Harvelle, stop comparing yourself to Dean! You are two completely different people and you need to stop parroting everything he says and does!" Ellen shouted back.

"I don't want to be like Dean, I just want to be a Shadowhunter like you!" Jo argued.

Ellen rubbed her temples. "We've been over this; you are still too young to begin training."

"You keep saying that, but the sooner I train, the longer I will be able to practice and the better I will be for it!" Jo countered.

"She has a point, Ellen." Jimmy interceded.

Ellen turned toward the younger Shadowhunter, a look of pure fury in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

Jimmy fidgeted under her scalding glare, but persisted, "I know you're worried about her, but she doesn't have to go fighting demons tomorrow. She can train here at the institute after school and on weekends. She can have my old Codex and I can help teach her how to fight."

Ellen sighed, turning back to Jo who was smiling gratefully at Jimmy. "If I agree to this you can't fight me about going to school anymore and your training starts only after you've completed your homework."

Jo nodded excitedly. "I won't, I promise. Thank you mom, thank you, Jimmy thank you thank you thank you!"

The young girl wrapped her arms around her mother before pulling away and running upstairs to get dressed.

Ellen turned to Jimmy and grumbled, "You're gonna pay for that."

Jimmy gulped down the rest of his coffee and pushed himself away from the counter. "Thanks for all your help, Mrs. Harvelle! You're the best!"

As he ran off in the direction of the study Ellen rolled her eyes and muttered, "Suck up."

* * *

Dean stomped across the lawn of the old run down cabin with gritted teeth and a furrowed brow. He gripped the hilt of his seraph blade as he made his way up the tattered, overgrown walkway to the door which he promptly kicked open. The door flew inward and splinters of wood shattered across several shocked vampires as they scattered away from the sunlight that was now spilling in through the open doorway.

Dean beheaded two vampires as they were stumbling about in a sleepy stupor. A female vampire screeched from a darkened corner of the dank room, "Leave us alone!"

Dean grunted as he slashed at a third vampire that just barely escaped his blade.

A deep Cajun voice spoke from the other side of the room, "You have no business here, Nephilim."

Dean scoffed. "And you have no business existing, bloodsucker!"

"Ouch, never been called that before." The voice rang out in a sarcastic tone.

"Show your face, coward!" Dean growled.

"Lower your weapon and I will."

Dean laughed boomingly, "Yeah right, I'm not stupid, dick."

The vampire sighed and walked a little closer to Dean. He looked about the same age as Dean. With a square jaw and burly features he was unconventionally handsome. "It's Benny actually."

Dean spat. "I don't care. You don't deserve the luxury of a name."

Benny chuckled. His laugh was light and throaty. "No one has broken the Accords here except you, Nephilim."

"Good luck taking that to the Conclave. I'm the best hunter they have. All I have to do is say that they attacked first. Who do you think they'll believe?" Dean asked smugly.

Benny yawned. "We're not that different from you, Nephilim. We're misfits as well."

"I'm not a misfit. And stop saying that word. It sounds awful coming from your kind." Dean grunted.

"My kind is just trying to get by. The biggest clans in the city are vicious and bloodthirsty and turned all of us against our will before casting us out into the cold. We get by on animal blood alone." Benny explained.

"Why don't I believe you?" Dean asked coyly.

Benny shrugged. "It's not my fault you have trust issues, Nephilim."

Dean clenched his jaw tightly, "I told you to stop saying that word!" Lifting his blade high above his head with a loud swishing sound he began to bring it down towards Benny who became a blur as he dashed around behind Dean, tackling him to the floor and disarming him in one swift move.

"Get off me!" Dean choked out.

Benny tossed Dean's seraph blade across the room and turned back to look down at Dean who was squirming underneath him. Benny's eyes widened as he recognized the young man he was straddling. "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! It really is Dean Winchester! I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me."

"Sorry, I don't carry around pens or I'd give you an autograph." Dean quipped.

"That's alright, I'm sure I can think of something else you could give me." Benny replied coolly.

Dean smirked. "Why don't I just carve my name into your jugular?"

Benny leaned in close to Dean's ear and whispered, "I'd be careful about mentioning necks in your current position, Dean." Benny pressed his nose against Dean's neck as if to demonstrate his point and said, "You smell amazing. I would love nothing more than to taste you, Dean Winchester."

Dean gagged. "Great, I got the one gay vamp in Nebraska."

Benny sat up. "Don't flatter yourself, Dean. You're attractive yes, but I'm not going to risk punishment from the Conclave on you."

Dean writhed under Benny, taking advantage of the vampire's slip up to reach for his dagger. Once again though, Benny was too quick for him and grasped his wrist in a death lock until Dean began to lose feeling in his fingertips.

Dean dropped his dagger and clutched his wrist with his other hand. "Your fingers are like ice!"

"They're not my only cold appendages, Dean." Benny winked before bringing his own head down on Dean's hard and everything went black.

* * *

Jimmy had been studying demons all morning and was beginning to see them every time he closed his eyes. When he felt his stomach rumble, he decided a lunch break was in order. He slammed the book in front of him shut and returned it to its shelf before walking to the kitchen to search for sustenance.

A quick glance through the fridge and pantry told Jimmy that he would have to go out for lunch, so he slipped on his boots by the door, quickly lacing them and taking off toward Mabel's Diner. If he was lucky Dean would be on his fifth slice of pie by now, eating away his feelings as always.

Unfortunately, by the time Jimmy got to the diner it was mostly empty with no trace of his green eyed parabatai anywhere. When he asked the waitress about it, she said she hadn't seen Dean all day. Jimmy sighed and ordered his usual hamburger and chocolate milkshake anyway.

After a rich, filling lunch Jimmy took the long way back to the Institute, hoping Dean would arrive there at around the same time.

When Jimmy got back to the Institute, Jo was doing her homework in the study. Jimmy joined her and whenever she was finished they made their way into the training room to go over basic sparring techniques.

"So are you going to tell me what you and my mom were talking about this morning?" Jo asked sweetly.

Jimmy grimaced. "It was nothing."

"Does it have something to do with Dean?" Jo pressed.

"You can ask twenty questions, but you aren't getting a single answer." Jimmy said definitely.

"You love him don't you?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," Jimmy answered without batting an eye. "He's my parabatai. We share a profound bond that transcends earthly love."

Jo snorted. "You know that's not what I meant. You _really_ love him."

Jimmy could feel his cheeks begin to flush and turned away from her quickly, hoping to hide it, but it was too late. "I knew it!" She screamed.

"Keep your voice down!" Jimmy pleaded.

"I'm sorry, you two just are so cute together that I can't help it." Jo amended.

"You can't tell anyone. If the Conclave finds out we could both be stripped of our marks." Jimmy stated flatly.

Jo pouted. "That's such a stupid rule! Parabatai love doesn't count as real love. You said it yourself, it transcends earthly _mundane_ love so they shouldn't concern themselves with whether it will cause drama or not!"

"Jo, I'm serious. You can't tell a single soul about this, promise me." Jimmy begged.

Jo groaned. "I won't. So what are you planning to do?"

Jimmy stared at her blankly, "About what?"

"About Dean… To convince him not to be so reckless." Jo clarified.

Jimmy frowned. "I thought you didn't hear that."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Please, the whole neighborhood heard that."

Jimmy nodded in agreement and decided it couldn't hurt to tell her what he had planned; she might even be able to help. So Jimmy explained exactly what he was planning and aside from some suggestions, Jo liked his plan and was ready to help him implement it.

When Jo was fatigued from her physical training, Jimmy assigned her some chapters to read in her Codex and headed over to the kitchen where Ellen was cooking dinner. Sam was sitting at the table in the dining room talking to Jess on the phone. When Jimmy sat next to him, Sam stood up from his chair and left the room.

"Don't take it personally. He's really touchy about his little girlfriend." Ellen joked.

Jimmy laughed. "I don't think he likes calling her that."

Ellen rolled her eyes and turned to the pot she was stirring on the stove, "Boys."

* * *

Dean woke up to the sun setting over the field he was lying in. He sat up, groaned at the pain shooting through his head, and lay back down on the grass, cursing Benny the Bloodsucking Bastard as he did so.

When the dizziness subsided, Dean rolled over onto his stomach, then sat up on his knees and slowly brought himself to his feet. Taking a deep breath, he began walking before he realized how disoriented he was.

Pulling his stele out of his weapons belt, he carefully drew a guidance rune on his left forearm and paired it with a true north rune. As he slid his stele back into his belt he took a few more deep breaths, waiting for the runes to take effect. Once he figured out where he was, he began his trek back to the Institute.

* * *

"Dinner's ready!" Ellen called from the kitchen. Jo, Sam, and Jimmy all gathered around the table to eat, but Jimmy excused himself when he noticed Dean was not among them.

Running his hand subconsciously over the rune on his chest, Jimmy paced in the foyer of the Institute, having an internal battle with himself about whether he should assemble a search party or not. He was working on his rebuttal when the door opened and Dean dragged himself inside.

The young Shadowhunter looked worse for wear. His cheeks were torn and bloodied, one of his eyes was nearly swollen shut, and his bottom lip was split open. Jimmy hurried over to him, using all his strength to hold himself together. "Dean, what happened to you?!" Jimmy reached for him, but Dean shied away clenching his fists and avoiding eye contact. "Dean?" Jimmy tried again to get his best friend's attention.

Dean headed straight for the kitchen and when he got there he put up a façade in an attempt to hide his pain from his family. "Something smells good!" He said sounding more chipper than he looked only a minute ago.

"Dean? What happened to you?" Ellen asked worriedly.

Dean only sat at his usual place at the table and helped himself to a huge serving of spaghetti. Everyone sat in shocked silence for a moment more before serving themselves as well. Jimmy was the last to be seated and thus got the least amount of food, though he wasn't all that hungry anyway.

As they ate, Dean made up some story about his day, saying "You should have seen the other guy!" anytime his injuries were brought up. No one else seemed as concerned with Dean's well-being as Jimmy was.

After dinner, Sam took the phone up to his room to call Jess and Jo buried her nose in her Codex as Jimmy helped Ellen clear the table. He was about to do the dishes for her when she shooed him off to go talk to Dean.

Jimmy found Dean in the upstairs bathroom tending to his wounds.

"So what _really_ happened? I swear to the Angel if you say I should have seen the other guy I will make your eyes symmetrical." Jimmy said.

Dean grinned. "Maybe you should, it could get me a pity fuck."

"Dean!" Jimmy scolded, "Take this seriously, please."

Dean sighed. "I got into a fight."

"No shit," Jimmy said impatiently, "Who'd you insult this time?"

"Just some dick vamp that had it out for me," Dean replied tiredly.

"You went to that nest alone, didn't you? What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jimmy knew he should keep his voice level, but his emotions were betraying him.

"It was nothing. The leader was the worst of 'em; Real pain in the ass, that guy." Dean grumbled.

Jimmy felt slightly relieved. Maybe this was enough to wake Dean up. Maybe he wouldn't have to go through with his plan after all. "I think you should take a break from hunting for a while. At least until the swelling goes down on your eye."

"You're still on this? You sound like a broken record, Jim."

"You just got the hell beaten out of you; I really think you should take it easy." Jimmy argued.

"Yeah, which is exactly why I need to go back out there and beat the hell out of the unholy bastard that did this to me!" Dean said.

"Do you hear yourself right now? Let it go! He's not worth it!" Jimmy was shouting now, he could no longer hold back his anger.

Dean turned to quickly face Jimmy and snapped back, "Do you have any idea what kind of day I've had? I hate fighting with you, Jim. The anger I feel at myself when we argue is ten times worse because of our stupid bond! So I have to go out and kill something just to feel better but then I'm not thinking clearly because all I can think about is **you**!"

"Dean, I had no idea. Do you really think about me?" Jimmy asked.

"Don't even pretend like you care. It's too late now." Dean said listlessly. Jimmy opened his mouth to reply, but Dean cut him off. "I just mean it's too late in the day for drama."

Jimmy nodded in agreement and started to reach up to touch Dean's face, but then thought better of it. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his stele. With a steady hand, he drew an iratze rune on Dean's cheek, below his black eye. Dean closed his eyes as the tip of the stele glided over his battered cheek, only wincing slightly when it met his raw skin. When Jimmy was finished he replaced his stele in his pocket and asked, "Better?"

Dean nodded as he felt the warmth from the rune begin to surge through his veins. They both stared into each other's eyes for several moments, neither of them moving or blinking, just appreciating the silence and stillness of one another for once.

Finally Dean broke the gaze and started to close the bathroom door, but not before gently saying, "Goodnight Jim."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading guys! If you liked it please favorite or leave a review! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


	4. Bad News

**A/N: Again, sorry for the delay. This chapter took a lot longer to edit. I already had the idea formed in my head, but figuring out how to set up the scene proved to be more of a challenge. I hope you all like the finished result though!**

The next few days went a lot more smoothly. Jimmy spent his time holed up in the library trying to work out all of the kinks out of his plan. In the evenings, as he promised, Jimmy helped Jo with her training. Between exercises and pop quizzes, the two would discuss the progress of Jimmy's plan to "domesticate Dean" as Jo liked to call it. After dinner Dean and Jimmy would then take to the streets and hunt together for a couple hours.

For the most part, everything was back to normal. Jimmy no longer suggested that Dean take a break from hunting and Dean went back to impressing horny young women with his physical prowess. Some would argue that Jimmy should take that as a win and accept Dean as the crazy fool that he was, but Jimmy felt that they both deserved better.

A couple weeks went by and it was soon time to put the plan into motion. All of the research was done and the pieces were all in place, the only thing left to do was make the first move and hope it played out perfectly.

That morning, Jo was bouncing around as she got her things ready for school. Jimmy knew she couldn't be excited about Operation Domesticate Dean, as he only decided to put it into motion a few moments prior and hadn't told anyone yet.

"Is today a big day or something?" Jimmy asked.

Jo grinned from ear to ear and hopped in place. "My daddy's coming home today!"

Jimmy could feel her infectious enthusiasm rubbing off on him and allowed himself to release a loud, "Whoop!"

Jo jumped at his unexpected outburst and exploded into a fit of giggles to cover it up. "You're such a nerd!"

"A nerd that's going to domesticate Dean Winchester today," Jimmy muttered softly, even though he knew his parabatai was still upstairs sleeping off a hangover.

Jo gasped. "You have to let me help! Please!"

"Of course you can help, you're my scrappy sidekick." Jimmy replied.

"I'm not scrappy!" Jo complained.

"Loyal?" Jimmy suggested and Jo nodded in affirmation.

"Who's loyal?" Sam asked as he came into the kitchen and helped himself to the carton of orange juice.

"I am!" Jo proudly declared.

Sam snorted and almost shot orange juice out of his nose. "Okay then."

* * *

Jimmy spent the next couple of hours setting everything up for phase one. Once that was completed the only thing left to do was wait around for Jo. Around three o'clock Jo got home and after rushing through her homework they moved on to the training room where they prepped for phase two while they practiced sparring.

Finally it was five thirty and time to begin. Jimmy left the house and Jo gave him a half hour head start before running upstairs to find Dean.

Dean was lounging on his bed in his boxers when Jo burst into his room. Dean sat up like a shot and grabbed for the blankets to cover himself up. "Jeez, Jo, you can't just barge in on a guy like that!"

Jo, who wasn't focused on anything but the task at hand, didn't register what he meant. "I'm sorry, Dean, but I wouldn't bother you unless it was absolutely important!" She choked back a sob for dramatic effect.

Dean grabbed a t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head before placing his hands gently on Jo's shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I t-tried to s-s-stop him; I t-told him it w-was a b-b-bad idea, but he w-wouldn't listen!" Jo stuttered, allowing her bottom lip to tremble.

"Hey, it's alright. Just take a deep breath and tell me what happened." Dean said calmly.

Jo's entire body was trembling as she did as Dean said and took a breath before spitting out the words, "It's Jimmy! He said something about going to an old cottage and teaching some vampire a lesson…" Jo collapsed into Dean's arms and willed tears to fall from her eyes.

Dean rubbed Jo's back and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "It's okay. You did the right thing coming to me. It's gonna be okay."

Just like that, Dean sprang into action. He snatched his jeans up off the floor and slid them on in seconds flat before darting downstairs to the foyer where he stepped into his boots, not even bothering to lace them up. Dean ran as fast as he could, cursing as he went, "Damnit, Jim, what the hell were you thinking?"

* * *

"When's your friend supposed to get here? I have a party to attend and I really don't have time for this." the green skinned warlock asked impatiently.

Jimmy shifted from foot to foot nervously. "He'll be here any minute. Is it almost complete?"

"All I have to do is say the chant and it'll be done. Are you sure you want to do this? Once I've begun the spell there's no going back." the warlock said in a concerned voice.

"Just do it." Jimmy demanded.

"Are you sure you can't just talk to your friend?" the warlock sounded worried now.

"I said, do it!" Jimmy shouted.

The warlock sighed and began his chant without questioning further. Jimmy paced back and forth anxiously until the spell was done. Jimmy braced himself, but nothing happened. "Why isn't it working?" he asked, panic rising in his voice.

The warlock shrugged, looking down at the book he was reading from. "I followed the directions exactly. I'm as lost as you," then he turned the page and muttered a soft "Oh."

"That better be a good 'Oh'!" Jimmy said.

The warlock grimaced. "I just realized we need a blood offering."

Jimmy stared at the warlock, dumbfounded. "That wasn't part of the plan!"

"Relax, little Nephilim, I don't need _your_ blood. I just need something to sacrifice. Any small animal will do."

Jimmy glanced around the room cautiously. He noticed something scurrying across the floor and nearly yelped as it ran over his foot. Bending down quickly, Jimmy scooped up the tiny mouse and carried it carefully over to the warlock. "Will this be enough blood?" he asked.

The warlock took the mouse from Jimmy and slit its throat without a moment of hesitation. Jimmy looked away as the warlock squeezed the life out of the poor creature and tossed the tiny carcass aside. "That'll be it then."

Jimmy turned back towards the center of the room and stared adamantly into runes etched onto the floor. Suddenly the ground began to shake and a dark cloud appeared before his eyes. The all too familiar scent of brimstone filled the air. Jimmy held his breath as the smoke cleared and a giant slug-like demon appeared.

"Well I've lost my appetite for the next century." the warlock pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand and fanned the air in front of him with the other.

Jimmy gulped. "N-now we wait."

"Wait?! What are we waiting for? Those runes won't hold this beast forever!" the warlock protested.

Jimmy shushed him. "He'll be here any second!"

"Any second is not right now, bud. If he's not here soon I'm leaving and you are absolutely on your own." the warlock warned.

"Just wait another minute, please!" Jimmy pleaded.

The warlock opened his mouth to complain again when Dean yelled from outside, "Jimmy?! Where are you?"

Jimmy yelped back, "Help, Dean!"

Dean ran toward the sound of his best friend's voice and skidded to a stop when he realized what was going on inside the abandoned cottage. "What is this?"

Jimmy started to explain, but was interrupted by a low whistle coming from the warlock. "Dang, if you can't work things out with your boy toy, can I take a run at him?"

Dean hastily turned to face the strange man with a single eyebrow raised. "Who the hell are you?"

"Definitely not a marriage counselor," the warlock snappily replied.

"Dean, I'm sorry it had to come to this," Jimmy finally spoke, trying to bring his best friend's attention back to the matter at hand.

Dean whipped back around to face Jimmy. "Is this your attempt at an intervention? I'm killing too many demons and it's not fair to the other shadowhunters?" Dean joked.

Jimmy frowned. "You've been reckless lately. Throwing yourself into battle after battle, I'm worried about you, Dean."

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line, "You're worried about _me_?" Dean motioned toward the newly summoned demon thrashing wildly against its runic containment. "And whose idea was it to bring a damned demon out of the void?"

"Don't change the subject Dean. This was the only way to get you to listen." Jimmy stated flatly.

"So what exactly was your plan here? Hire a dipshit warlock to help you summon a demon and pray you make it out alive?" Dean asked furiously.

"Whoa hey, I reject that comment…" the warlock protested, but both Dean and Jimmy turned to glare at him, shutting him up.

"It's not like that. I've done all the research. I've taken the proper precautions. I have the situation under control." Jimmy said calmly.

As if on cue, the demon broke free of its entrapment at just that moment and began slithering toward Jimmy.

"Well, this was fun, but I have a party to attend. Enjoy your night boys." the warlock said quickly before disappearing out the back door.

Jimmy backed away from the demon, reaching for his seraph blade slowly. Dean, who was already armed, said "Ezekiel," clearly before leaping on top of the demon and stabbing his sword all the way through its midsection.

The demon wriggled on the floor, pinned in place by Dean's blade. Dean rubbed his hands together and looked deeply into Jimmy's dark blue eyes. "Sure as hell doesn't seem like you have this under control!" he barked.

Jimmy tore his gaze away from Dean to stare in horror at the demon straining to free itself on the floor. "Dean…"

"Look me in the eyes, James."

Jimmy looked back at Dean, knowing he was in deep shit now. His parabatai only used his real name under extreme circumstances. "Dean, I had to do something. You wouldn't listen to reason."

"Reason? What reason was there to summon a goddamn demon?" Dean said, raising his voice.

Jimmy turned his head and squinted at Dean. "What reason was there to visit a vampire nest with no back up?"

"Don't make this about me, Jim. Demon summoning is bad business. You could have gotten killed. If I wasn't here to keep that thing under control…" Dean trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Just then the demon began to let out the most god awful screech, causing both boys to clutch their ears. The wailing persisted until Dean grabbed hold of the hilt of his sword and pulled it lengthwise through the body of the beast, slaying it in an instant.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked finally.

Jimmy's eyes widened and he turned pale in the face. "It sounded like a cry for help."

"Who the fuck would help a demon?" Dean asked, enraged.

"More demons," Jimmy responded gravely. "That was a Drevak. Harmless on its own, but when in peril, one will call out to others for help and if they come…"

Dean groaned. "Well that's just great. Good job, Jim. You really fucked up this time."

"It wouldn't have been a problem if you would have killed the demon as soon as it got loose instead of pinning it down like some kind of savage!" Jimmy shouted.

"Oh, now I'm a savage," Dean said facetiously, "Maybe I'll just leave you alone to play with your new friends."

Just then two Drevak demons burst through the door, searching for warmth and blood. Jimmy readied himself for battle by calling upon the angel Samandriel to power his blade.

Dean nodded toward the demon on the right with his own blade, indicating that Jimmy should take care of the one on the left. Together they sliced through the demonic worms as though they were warm bread. Three more Drevaks were wriggling around the yard. Dean skewered two at once and Jimmy pierced the brain of the third through its eye. Together they fought half a dozen more worm demons under the light of the full moon.

When all of the demons had been slain, Dean cleaned his blade in the dirt and replaced it in his weapons belt. Jimmy stood amongst the mangled bodies and ichor, breathing heavily.

When he had caught his own breath, Dean turned to face Jimmy, who looked up at him with a forlorn look in his eyes. Neither of them spoke for several minutes.

Finally, Dean broke the silence, "I never should have agreed to be your parabatai."

Jimmy was speechless. His hands fell limply to his sides and he stared at Dean, heartbroken.

"I thought you would grow out of this insecure, childish phase, but I was wrong." Dean explained.

"Dean," Jimmy began, but his best friend was clearly not paying attention anymore.

"We're through." There they were, the two most painful words ever spoken.

Jimmy could feel his heart sinking into his stomach. "You can't decide that, our bond…"

"I'm well aware of our bond." Dean snapped. "We will hunt together and I will have your back, but as far as you and I are concerned, it's over. We're not friends. Don't talk to me about your life because I don't care."

"Dean, please don't do this." Jimmy begged, but Dean was already detached from him.

Dean began walking home at a quickened pace, never once checking to see if Jimmy was actually following him. Jimmy trudged along behind Dean at a safe distance, keeping his eyes glued to his shoes and his mind rooted deeply in his thoughts.

* * *

John Winchester stumbled drunkenly up the path to the Institute, dreading the welcome party that awaited him inside. Ellen had heard his heavy footsteps from the street and was already opening the door by the time he reached for the knob. She had a seraph blade poised and ready to attack, but lowered it as soon as she realized there was no threat.

"John, what in the blazes..." Ellen cut herself off abruptly whenever the stench of whiskey reached her nose. "Are you drunk?"

"Ellen, I can explain." John slurred.

Ellen sheathed her blade and folded her arms in front of her chest. "You'd better. Jo has been waiting to see her father all day. Where is Bill anyway?"

John's glazed, drunken expression turned somber. "We should speak in private."

Ellen glanced around to make sure her daughter wasn't around then directed John into the study. "Don't tell me he got arrested sticking up for your dumb ass."

John wrung his hands in his lap, unable to make eye contact with her. "I found him, Ellen. _We_ found him. But then shit went sideways. It all happened so fast. I thought I had everything under control, but he outsmarted me and Bill got caught in the crossfire."

Ellen's eyes widened with realization. It was several moments before she mustered the courage to speak. "John, look at me."

John clutched his hands tighter together in his lap, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. "I'm so sorry Ellen. I couldn't save him."

"Look at me!" Ellen raised her voice and John finally met her gaze. His eyes were watery and red. There was no longer any trace of inebriation in his face.

"You killed my husband." Ellen stated coldly.

John shook his head, opening his mouth to object, but Ellen cut him off. "You are responsible for his death. I warned you about chasing that damned demon. Now we've both lost a spouse to this thing, but you know what the difference is between the two of us, John?"

John clenched his jaw. "What?"

"The difference is: I'm not hung up on revenge. I'm not going to chase after a dangerous demon because of what he's done, and neither will my children." Ellen replied.

"But you only have one child…" John began.

"No, John. Dean and Sammy are my boys. I was here raising them while you were out searching for vengeance."

"You can't just keep my sons from me, Ellen!" John raised his voice, rising from the couch to look Ellen directly in the eyes.

Ellen slapped John flat across the face with a loud smack, knocking him back on his ass. "You don't even know Sam's favorite subject in school or the trouble Dean has gotten into recently. You may have created them, but you have forfeited your right to call yourself their father."

John clutched the side of his face which was already turning red. Ellen waited for a few more moments to see if John would try to defend himself, but he stayed silent. Ellen sighed and excused herself to the kitchen to make him some coffee to help sober him up.

* * *

Jimmy heard the footsteps before he saw where they were coming from. By the time he looked up, Jo was hurtling head first towards Dean.

"Joanna, what's wrong?" Dean asked worriedly.

Jo's eyes were red and puffy and she began crying all over again once she collided with Dean, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Dean, my daddy… He's… he's dead!" Jo wailed, burying her face into Dean's chest.

Dean clutched the girl tightly and pressed his lips to the top of her head, rubbing her back soothingly while she cried herself numb.

 **A/N: That's the end of Chapter 3! Thanks for reading, feel free to leave feedback if you like!**


	5. Mourning

**A/N: I know it's been a while, but I'm back with a new chapter! This one is shorter, but the next chapter gets into more action so it's building up to that! I hope you enjoy and like always leave a review/favorite/follow and I promise I will try to get the next chapter up in a timely manner!**

Once Jo had calmed down a bit Dean walked her slowly back into the Institute where he sat with her on the couch, allowing her to rest her head on his lap. John and Sam were already in the den, quietly catching up; Ellen stood behind them looking tense. Jimmy started to sit down next to Dean, but thought better when the green eyed teen shot him a glare. Jimmy then went to stand by Ellen who glanced at him sympathetically before turning her attention to her broken daughter.

For a long while no one spoke and the only noise that could be heard was muffled sobbing from Jo. After a couple minutes a timer went off in the kitchen and Ellen solemnly said, "That's the casserole."

One by one, everyone made their way toward the dining room for dinner, though no one had much of an appetite. When everyone was finished eating, Dean disappeared with Jo upstairs while Jimmy helped Ellen clear the table and wash the dishes. Sam asked John for help on his homework, though the inexperienced father wasn't much of a teacher. Fortunately, Sam was satisfied just spending time with his father.

Jimmy finished drying the last dish and headed upstairs to find Dean who had since put Jo to bed and retired to his own quarters. Jimmy knocked on the door and entered slowly when Dean beckoned him in.

"Can we talk?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

Dean looked up from his magazine disapprovingly. "There's nothing left to say, Jim."

Jimmy grimaced. "After what just happened tonight you'd think you'd be more understanding."

Dean rolled his eyes. "No, after what happened it's clearer to me than ever why I don't want to get close to you."

Jimmy felt a pang in his heart. "You can't just shut me out, Dean."

Dean stood up from his bed and walked over to Jimmy who didn't back away. Dean's face was inches away from Jimmy's when he leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Watch me." Then Dean shoved Jimmy out of his room, slamming the door in his face. Jimmy sighed and walked back to his room, deflated.

* * *

The next couple of days went by painfully slowly as Ellen made funeral arrangements. John spent a lot of time at the bar, Dean stayed out hunting whenever the bars closed so that he wouldn't have to face his father, and Sam practically lived at Jess's house for those days. Jimmy and Jo took a break from training as the little girl was too upset to focus her mind on anything besides her own grief.

On the morning of the funeral, everyone dressed in traditional white mourning clothes and braced themselves for the arrival of the other guests. The first to arrive was Dean and Sam's Uncle Bobby, followed shortly after by Jo's cousin, Ash.

"I'm so glad you guys could be here. It's been a rough time for all of us." Ellen said as she greeted them at the door.

Bobby pulled Ellen into a hug and held her for a moment. When he released her, he held her at arm's length and said, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this Ellen. After Karen died I hoped no one else would have to know the pain of losing a loved one this way."

Ellen noticed tears forming in Bobby's eyes and reached up to wipe them away, but he evaded her, excusing himself to the other room. Ellen then turned to Ash, a boy not much older than Dean. "It's good to see you, Ash, though I wish it were under happier circumstances."

Ash smiled grimly. "I'll have to make sure to visit more often then. I'm really sorry about Uncle Bill. He was a good man."

Ellen smiled in spite of her grieving. "He would be proud of the man you've become."

Ash then embraced Ellen and she held him for a moment, allowing her memories to drift to the troubled child who first set foot in her Institute. Ash and Bill had had many arguments since that day, but they eventually worked everything out and were closer than ever before Ash set out on his own.

The service was a small, private affair and more of a wake since they didn't actually have Bill's body to give him a proper Shadowhunter funeral. After dining on light h'orderves, everyone gathered in the den to remember the late Bill Harvelle. The proceedings carried on late into the evening and soon everyone was saying their goodbyes to Bobby and Ash.

"It was great seeing you again, Ellen. I hope next time we meet is on happier terms." Bobby spoke gruffly.

Ellen nodded. "You'll have to bring that girlfriend of yours next time. I'd love to meet her."

Bobby's face reddened at the mention of his significant other and he cleared his throat to disguise his bashfulness. "I'm sure Jodie would love to meet you as well, Ellen."

Once again the two embraced and Bobby hugged Dean and Sam and shook hands with John before making his exit.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay a while longer?" Ash asked as he stood up to take his leave as well.

Jo's eyes lit up at her cousin's offer. "Can he stay mom? Please?"

Ellen shook her head. "You need to get back to school."

"Who needs school when you're a shadowhunter?" Ash asked, winking at Jo who grinned in response.

"That is a terrible example to set for your cousin," Ellen scolded, but softened her tone and added, "We will be fine here, don't worry about us."

Ash conceded and pulled Ellen into one last hug before he also took his leave.

When at last the Institute was deathly quiet, John couldn't stand the silence and declared that he was heading out to the nearest tavern.

"Drunken coward," Jimmy mumbled under his breath after John had left. Dean had been sitting next to Jimmy, but if he had heard his comment, he made no move to show that he cared.

"Jo, do you wanna go upstairs and play Mario Kart?" Sam asked.

Jo, who appeared grateful at the offer of a distraction, nodded and raced upstairs, closely followed by Sam. Ellen decided to retire to her chambers for the night, spent both physically and emotionally from the events of the day. Just like that, Dean and Jimmy were alone in a room for the first time since Jimmy's failed attempted to "Domesticate Dean."

Jimmy slowly turned to look at Dean who met his gaze for an instant, then stood up and started walking toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Jimmy asked.

Dean responded by opening the door and slamming it behind him as he walked through it; Jimmy begrudgingly ran after him. Dean was halfway down the path of the Institute when Jimmy caught up to him.

"You can be mad at me all you like, Dean, but I won't stand for the silent treatment!" Jimmy snapped.

Dean stopped in his tracks without turning around. "I'm going out."

"If you're going hunting, I must insist on going with you." Jimmy said, not trusting his parabatai to fight alone at a time like this.

Dean turned to face Jimmy. The pain behind his eyes was evident. "I'm not going hunting. I just need to be alone right now."

Jimmy frowned, but eventually conceded and Dean disappeared into the night.

* * *

Dean walked all through town, finally ending up at the park where he took a seat on a bench and attempted to collect himself. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice someone sit in the space beside him on the bench.

"Lovely night for a stroll, eh, Nephilim?"

Dean recognized the thick accent almost immediately. "Benny. Good to see ya, why don't you join me and we'll grab a coffee for me and a pint of blood for you? What's your type anyway?"

"Tall, dark, and sarcastic," Benny replied coolly.

"Not now." Dean said in a warning tone.

Benny noted Dean's apprehension and carefully asked, "What's wrong?"

"Don't pretend to have a soul, bloodsucker." Dean said callously.

"Whoa, hey, I was being sincere because you look like you could use a friend, but if you really want to be alone, be my guest dick face." Benny stood up and started to walk away.

Dean sighed, considering the vampire's words, "Wait."

Benny turned back to face Dean who motioned for him to sit back down. As Benny sat, Dean spat, "Just so we're clear, this doesn't make us friends."

Benny rolled his eyes. "Whatever floats your boat, Nephilim."

Dean began to vent about all that had happened to him in the past few days. It was nice to be able to talk to an impartial third party. By the end of his rant, Benny blew out his lips. "Damn, that's rough."

"The worst part is, I still care about James, but this whole thing that happened with my dad and Bill just makes everything more complicated. I mean, they weren't parabatai, but they were still close and now Bill's gone and my dad's an absolute wreck. Bill kept him grounded and I felt better knowing they were out hunting together because Bill would always keep my dad from getting into too much trouble. But now there's nothing to stop him from turning to the darkest parts of himself." Dean admitted.

"Not that I have any right to dole out advice, but don't you think you are projecting your own feelings onto your father?" Benny asked.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Uh… No?"

Benny sighed. "Think about it. Bill was your father's keeper and Jimmy is yours. You are afraid of losing Jimmy the same way that your father lost Bill because you don't want to see yourself become a monster, just like your father."

Dean shot a glare at Benny. "My father is _not_ a monster!"

Benny grunted. "Drunken, self-loathing hunter hell-bent on getting revenge for his dead wife… Sounds pretty monstrous to me."

"Just because he has monster-like qualities does not make him a monster. He's still a man in the flesh, which is more than I can say for you." Dean growled.

Benny held his hands up in submission. "You got me there, but how much of a monster can I really be if I've never killed anyone, or gotten anyone killed for that matter?"

"You're existence is monstrous enough." Dean hissed.

"Oh, you flatter me." Benny teased then added, "It's not my fault I'm a fucking vampire you know. You act like I had a choice in the matter; like I _like_ being this way. The truth is, I just sat and listened to your sob story, gave you sound advice, and only thought about sinking my teeth into you once."

"You're such a charmer. Too bad you're dead." Dean mocked.

"See, that's unnecessary. I may not have a soul, but I do have feelings and you just trampled all over them." Benny said.

Dean snorted. "Boohoo, let me get you a tissue. Oh wait, I'm fresh out."

Benny snickered as his teeth slid out of their sheaths and he moved closer to Dean, breathing down his neck. "That's alright, I can settle for a taste of that delectable Nephilim blood pumping through your veins."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Do it." Dean whispered in his most daring voice.

Benny sighed and retracted his teeth, "Well it's no fun if you ain't gonna fight back."

* * *

Back at the Institute, Jimmy switches on the clunky old television in his room, unable to bear the silence. He flips channels until something on the evening news catches his attention.

"Recent attacks on unsuspecting victims have many people fearing for their own safety." The newswoman begins, "Several survivors have reported being approached by a teenage boy with silvery blond hair who threatened them. Later, the victims reported being mauled by large dogs. It is believed this boy is mentally unstable and highly dangerous. Police urge anyone going out at night to exercise caution and travel in groups whenever possible until he is caught."

Jimmy blinked at the television screen, dumbstruck. He knew all about Valentine Morgenstern and the Clave warned every Institute to keep an eye out for his son, Jonathan who was equally if not more dangerous with his demon blood. Jimmy knew he had to talk to Dean about this, he just hoped his parabatai was willing to listen.


	6. The Plan

**A/N: I'm back! I haven't forgot this story, I've just been putting off this chapter, but it's finally finished and it's a long one! Hopefully this makes up for the lack of chapters lately! As always, I hope you enjoy and leave a review if you have any comments or constructive criticisms!**

It was past midnight by the time Dean finally got back to the Institute. Quietly, he closed the front door and sneaked upstairs toward his room. Jimmy, who was waiting up for Dean, ambushed him outside of his door.

"We have to talk." Jimmy whispered urgently.

Dean groaned, rolling his shoulders. "Can it not wait till morning?"

Jimmy bit his lip, focusing his eyes on Dean's stern features. "No, it's important. I think the mundanes are in trouble."

"The mundanes are always in trouble, Jim. That's their nature. They fight each other out of boredom, what else is new?" Dean said sleepily.

"It's Jonathan." was Jimmy's only response.

Dean relaxed his shoulders and let out a yawn, "Who?"

Jimmy sighed. He forgot that his parabatai didn't keep up with the news of the Clave. "Valentine Morgenstern's demon son," Jimmy provided, hoping that was all he needed to say to jog Dean's memory.

Dean nodded, recalling vaguely who Jimmy was talking about. "What about him?"

"He's in town," Jimmy began anxiously and continued when Dean didn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation, "He believes mundanes are inferior to shadowhunters and plans to enslave or kill them all. The news reported strange attacks related to encounters with someone matching Jonathan's description. It sounds like it could be demons."

Dean was silent for a moment, contemplating Jimmy's words. Finally he said, "Alright, let's go."

Jimmy deadpanned. "What, now?"

Dean was already halfway to the stairs. "You said it yourself, Jim. Jonathan's dangerous and the mundies are in trouble. They can't exactly fight back if they have no idea what they are up against."

Jimmy was still hesitant. "What exactly is your plan, Dean?"

Dean turned to face Jimmy, his eyes shone with fierce determination. "Simple. We track down a demon and ask it a few questions."

"You mean torture." Jimmy corrected.

Dean turned away from Jimmy and continued down the stairs. "It's not exactly torture if the subject doesn't have a soul."

Jimmy made a split second decision to follow Dean; better t0 make sure he was safe than to sit home and wonder. The two set out from the Institute in search of anything out of the ordinary.

The boys heard a voice slurring outside a dive bar a few blocks away. Dean armed himself, preparing for a fight as he listened to the drunkard try to smooth talk his way out of a corner. "Nice doggy, I'm not gonna hurt ya. Just don't –hic- come any closer."

The noxious scent assaulting Dean's nostrils was enough to tell him he was in the right place. He jumped out from behind a dumpster, catching the attention of the drooling Drevak demon that had the unfortunate man cornered.

Jimmy armed himself as well and approached the demon from the opposite side of Dean. They lured the demon away from the poor drunken man who zigzagged out of the alley without so much as a thank you to his rescuers.

Jimmy grumbled at the man's lack of gratitude before turning his attention to Dean. "Uh… Dean? This demon is not capable of speech. How exactly are we going to question it?"

Dean smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. He stabbed his sword into the tail of the demon which was curled by his feet. The demon began squealing and Jimmy winced at the ungodly noise.

"Dean, don't you remember what happened last time you wounded a demon like this?" Jimmy asked, anger rising in his throat.

Dean ignored Jimmy's question and set to work scrawling a demon trap on the ground just inside the alley. He worked fast with practiced precision, then covered the trap with a flattened cardboard box and armed himself with a second seraph blade.

As more demons wriggled toward them, Dean slashed at them lazily. The usual joy that he got out of killing was missing. Jimmy looked on as the grotesque worms fell before Dean's feet.

One demon managed to get passed Dean and started toward Jimmy who drew his sword just in time to puncture the beast's brain—if the damned thing even had a brain.

Eventually the amount of worms thinned and an average looking man with tousled brown hair and plain features strode up to them. Dean tensed, unsure what he should do next. When the person became imprisoned in Dean's trap, he breathed a sigh of relief and sheathed his spare seraph blade.

"Ah, an Eidolon," Dean recognized the shape-shifting demon immediately, "Never thought I'd meet one in person."

"Nephilim," the Eidolon spat. "I should have known you were the one slaughtering my kin."

"Spare me the details of your pathetic demonic family." Dean barked. "I'm looking for another shadowhunter; goes by the name of Jonathan."

The Eidolon opened his mouth to respond when the wounded Drevak gave out a panicked cry of desperation. The shape-shifter glanced toward the worm sympathetically. "First, do me a favor and put him out of his misery."

Dean ignored the demon's request. "I kinda like the sound of a soulless monster in pain." Dean's typical sarcasm was missing from his tone. He sounded tired and bored.

"I'm not telling you anything until you release my kin back to the Void." the Eidolon insisted.

Dean turned to Jimmy, nodding for him to do as the shifter asked. Jimmy hurried over to the whimpering Drevak and promptly beheaded the beast before retrieving Dean's blade from its tail.

The Eidolon sighed sadly as the grub's head separated from its body, spraying ichor across the ground. "He was a good soldier."

"He was a worm." Dean stated brusquely.

"Still, he was from home." replied the Eidolon.

Jimmy was growing impatient and tried to steer the conversation back on topic. "Jonathan. Where is he?"

The Eidolon turned to face Jimmy. "The name doesn't ring a bell."

Dean motioned to Jimmy to bring him his blade. When Jimmy placed the seraph blade in Dean's hand he held it against the demon's throat. "What about now?"

"Look, it's a very common name, you're gonna have to be more specific." the Eidolon complained.

"Jonathan Morgenstern." Jimmy clarified.

The Eidolon's eyes shimmered with recognition. "Ah, you mean Sebastian. He is a very wise man indeed."

Dean pressed the blade further into the demon's throat, drawing a line of dark ichor. "What do you know about him?"

"Just that he is going to put those useless mundanes in their place and is willing to kill anyone who gets in his way." said the Eidolon.

"What is he planning?" Dean asked.

"He won't give anyone details. The most he's ever said is that his plan is foolproof and at the end of it all, those against him will wish they had joined him." the Eidolon stated proudly.

Jimmy gritted his teeth. "He will not win. Evil never wins!"

The Eidolon snickered. "This isn't a fairytale, boy. It's real life. Good and evil are just words."

Dean slashed his blade across the Eidolon's cheek, causing him to cry out in pain. "Where is Sebastian?"

"I don't know." the Eidolon hissed.

"I don't believe you," Dean growled and slashed the demon's other cheek. "Where is he?"

"You can cut me to pieces if that's what gets your jollies off, but it won't change my answer, Nephilim." The Eidolon snarled.

Dean shrugged and lopped off the Eidolon's hand with his sword. "Where is Jonathan hiding?"

The demon yelled in pain and fell to his knees, clutching the stump of his wrist, "I don't know! Honest, he's between realms, off the map. There's no way to find him unless he wants to be found."

"Or unless you call him." Dean stated calmly.

The demon shook his head. "I don't have that kind of power. I joined his army and I fight on his side, but I only have contact if he reaches out first."

"There has to be some way that you can call him to warn him that we're on to him." Dean said, preparing to make the demon symmetrical.

"There's not!" the demon shouted, then quickly added, "Not for me anyway."

"Who has contact with him?" Jimmy asked fervently.

"A Greater Demon; she's Jonathan's adoptive mother. She keeps an eye on the Shadow World for him and lets him know when and where it is safe to strike." the Eidolon said tiredly.

"Lilith." Jimmy stated exasperatedly.

The demon nodded wildly, confirming Jimmy's suspicions. Dean pressed the tip of his blade to the Eidolon's temple. "How do we find Lilith?"

"Y-y-you need to find one of the demons working for her; I don't know who or what they are though, I swear." the Eidolon was openly weeping now.

Dean drove the tip of the sword further into the Eidolon's temple, causing a spot of ichor to drip down his face. "Are you sure?"

The demon nodded slowly, mindful of the blade pressed to his skull. "Please, let me go and I'll leave this town and never look back. You won't hear from me or my Drevaks again, I promise."

Dean tapped his chin with his forefinger, as if he were weighing his options. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd rather just kill you now."

The Eidolon began to protest, but Dean had already impaled its skull with his blade.

* * *

The next day, Jimmy woke up early and began researching as much as he could about Lilith in the study. Ellen was the next one awake, closely followed by Jo who found Jimmy reading and decided to join him while she ate her cereal.

"What ya reading?" she asked.

Jimmy looked up from his book briefly to meet her eyes. "Just doing a bit of research," he decided against telling her about Jonathan, as he didn't want to upset her further after the month she'd had. "How are you feeling today?"

Jo shrugged. "Better. Sorta; I think I'm ready to start training again."

Jimmy smiled, closing his book. "That's good. I mean, you should take all the time you need, but the best thing you can do is go on living your life. It's what your father would have wanted."

Jo slurped the remnants of milk from her cereal bowl before responding, "How did it go with Dean by the way?"

"Great. We're stronger than ever." Jimmy lied.

Jo squinted at Jimmy and he gulped. He was never very good at lying. "That bad, huh?" she asked.

Jimmy sighed. "Apparently I'm the reckless casualty waiting to happen."

Jo frowned. "Plan B?"

Jimmy shook his head. "I think the best thing to do now would be to leave it alone. Dean will come around eventually." _I hope_.

Jo shrugged, "If you say so." She left the study then and Jimmy went back to his research. Sam woke up a while later and Ellen drove him and Jo to school.

* * *

It was around mid-afternoon by the time Dean finally rolled out of bed. He wandered into the study where Jimmy was still avidly researching. Dean's hair was mussed and he wore a stained t-shirt paired with a ratty pair of plaid pajama bottoms; Jimmy was instantly aware of his presence and had to stifle a groan to keep his hormones in check.

"Morning," Dean mumbled before releasing a yawn and stretching his arms over his head. Jimmy could feel his face getting hot as he noticed the sliver of skin that peeked from beneath the hem of Dean's shirt and raised his book higher to hide behind it.

"Good afternoon, Dean." Jimmy finally responded in as calm a voice as he could muster.

Dean cocked his head sideways to read the spine of the book in Jimmy's hands. "Greater Demons: A History." Dean snorted. "It's way too early for this shit."

"It's two in the afternoon," Jimmy noted.

"Exactly," Dean said before turning and walking out of the study.

Jimmy sighed and continued reading.

Ellen returned moments later with Sam and Jo. The latter was excited to continue her training and headed straight for the sparring room. Jimmy joined her after making some headway in his research and they resumed where they had left off. It was a good training session and when it was over Jo went on to work on her book report and Jimmy hunted down Dean to discuss his research findings on Lilith.

Dean was in Sam's room playing Mario Kart with his younger brother. Jimmy stood awkwardly in the doorway as he watched the two playing together. He was always unsure how to act around Dean and Sam; the two had an unusual relationship to say the least. Sure they had their share of sibling rivalry, but Dean was always protective of Sammy to the point where the boy could do no wrong in his eyes. Any wrongdoing that occurred around Sam was always blamed on someone or something else as far as Dean was concerned.

Dean often teased Sam about his good grades and mocked his otherwise "normal" life, but deep down Jimmy knew he was brimming with pride for his little brother. Jimmy often felt jealous of Sam, though he knew it to be unreasonable and tried to brush the feelings aside whenever they surfaced.

When the brothers were finished with their game, Dean slowly stood up, patting Sam on his back as he did so, "Sorry Sammy, you're still no match for the master."

Sam huffed. "I'll get you one of these days!"

Dean chuckled. "That'll be the day."

As Dean started walking toward the door he noticed Jimmy and the smile left his face. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and pushed passed his parabatai as if he weren't even there.

Jimmy shrugged off the cold shoulder and followed Dean down the hall to his room. "Dean, I have some new developments to discuss with you."

Dean reached his door and spun on his heel to face Jimmy. "You're hoity-toity speak is really starting to piss me off."

Jimmy frowned. Normally his proper dialect amused Dean, but there was no joy anywhere in his best friend's features. "It's about Lilith." Jimmy said, getting right to the point.

Dean grumbled and motioned Jimmy into his room. Once they were safely inside, Jimmy locked the door to ensure that they weren't disturbed before telling Dean what he had learned.

"So the Greater Demon manual was pretty useless; it was all conjecture about Lilith's origins which really didn't tell me anything." Jimmy began.

Dean was slouching in his beanbag chair, barely paying attention. Jimmy continued, "But then I looked into _Demon Collaborations_ and found something interesting,"

"Doubt that," Dean scoffed half-heartedly.

"Anyway," Jimmy went on, "Lilith prefers to work with Imps."

Dean stared at Jimmy as if he expected more. "That's it?"

"Dean, this is a breakthrough. All we have to do is find an Imp and get it to tell us where Lilith is hiding."

"And then what?" Dean asked stoically.

Jimmy froze. He hadn't thought that far ahead and he hadn't expected Dean to either. All the years Jimmy had known Dean he was always a spontaneous _act-first-ask-questions-later_ kind of guy. "Then we, uh, ask Lilith where Jonathan is?"

Dean snorted. "You think a thousand year old Greater Demon is going to roll over and tell us what we need to know because we ask her nicely?"

Jimmy stared at Dean silently, at a loss for words.

"Back it up a bit, how do you expect to track down an Imp? Specifically, an Imp controlled by Lilith," Dean inquired.

"That's easy. Imps are jovial and prefer dark, abandoned places that were once a source of joy." Jimmy replied.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "That's oddly specific."

"It's believed that they get some sort of high off of relinquished happiness." Jimmy explained.

"So… Strip club?" Dean asked.

Jimmy sighed, "Deserted fair grounds."

"Creepy," Dean muttered. "Let's go check it out."

Dean stood up and began rifling through the piles of clothes on his floor in search of some clothes to throw on. He came up with some slightly dirtied jeans and a flannel shirt. Dean quickly slipped out of his pajama pants and pulled the jeans and flannel on, then made his way to the armory for his weapons. Jimmy followed him and helped apply runes to his parabatai once they were both armed and ready to go.

Back in the entryway, Dean stepped into his boots and slid his leather jacket over his shoulders before heading out the door. Jimmy had to hurry to keep up with Dean's long stride. They were halfway to the fairgrounds when the sun began to set and Dean turned to Jimmy without stopping or slowing and asked, "Are you sure about this? It seems kinda out of the way."

Jimmy nodded, still struggling to keep up with Dean's pace. "It makes sense if you think about it. Lilith would want to be close enough to swoop in and help Jonathan if anything went wrong, but far enough that she could stay out of his way while he's ' _working_ '." Jimmy did his best to mime air quotes while jogging to keep up though it was futile since Dean didn't notice anyway.

* * *

By the time they reached the fairgrounds, the sun had already set and an eerie blue glow illuminated off the abandoned booths, chilling Jimmy to his core. Dean kicked a pebble across the ground, sending it flying into a rusted carousel with a loud clang. Just then two rambunctious Imps came clopping around the carousel screeching like monkeys.

The stunted demons resembled satyrs from Greek mythology and Jimmy almost laughed remembering Phil from the Disney movie Hercules. Dean pointed his blade at the nearest Imp, indicating they had come close enough.

"Hey fellas, we need a favor." Dean said, adding the hint of a threat behind the word 'favor' to imply that he wasn't really asking for one.

"We don't work for Nephilim." the first Imp sniffed.

"Right, because you're already employed by Lilith." Dean remarked, though there was a dangerous edge to his tone.

"How do you know about her?" the second Imp whined, eliciting the first to jab him in the ribs.

"She's a… Friend of a friend," Dean replied coolly.

"You have no business here, Nephilim." the first Imp spat.

"Is that so?" Dean asked before pouncing on the first Imp, sending the second one into a flailing retreat. Fortunately, Jimmy was able to catch the spooked demon before he got too far and held him, kicking, by his armpits.

"Let us go!" the first Imp muttered harshly.

"Quiet or I'll send you back to the Void in two pieces instead of one." Dean said in a gruff voice.

The second Imp squealed out, "Please, we don't want any trouble! We'll tell you what you want to know!"

"Shut up! Don't tell them anything!" the first Imp shouted.

Dean held his blade against the creature's throat. "Tell us where Lilith is and I'll consider letting your buddy here live."

"We don't know where she is! She told us to stay put until we're needed, that's all we know, honest!" the second Imp pleaded.

"What about Jonathan Morgenstern?" Jimmy asked. "We know Lilith doesn't like to be too far away from him."

The second Imp glanced at his friend, who glared at him. Dean noticed the demon's apprehension and sliced quickly across the first Imp's throat, causing ichor to spurt through the air.

The second Imp cried out in a panicked voice, "He's staying at the Motel 6! It shouldn't be hard to find him; he's got guards posted around the clock."

"The Motel 6 seems a little modest for Jonathan…" Jimmy said, doubting the validity of the Imp's words.

"Yes, exactly, he's trying to be… What's the word?" the Imp stuck out his tongue, trying to find a word that was not in his miniscule vocabulary.

"Inconspicuous?" Jimmy provided.

"Yes exactly! Now please, let us go, we've told you everything we know." the Imp sounded sincere and Jimmy almost pitied him.

Jimmy nodded at Dean who sliced his blade the rest of the way through the first Imp's throat. The second Imp wailed in agony for his fallen comrade and Jimmy released him. "For your cooperation we will let you go, but if you breathe a word of any of this to Lilith we won't hesitate to send you to join your friend."

The Imp trudged off toward the carousel with his tail between his legs and Dean raised an eyebrow at Jimmy. "Mind telling me what the fuck you were thinking?"

Jimmy shrugged. "We could use him later."

"The only thing demons are useful for is killing." Dean scoffed.

Jimmy sighed. "There are other strategies besides senseless slaughter."

Dean laughed dryly, "None that I want to be a part of."

* * *

An hour and fifteen minutes later Dean and Jimmy were staking out Jonathan's motel room. There was a bulky Nephilim standing outside one of the doors on the ground level which was a pretty good indication that Johnathan was inside.

"You want the big guy or the little guy?" Dean inquired energetically, rubbing his palms together to prepare himself.

"Dean, we're not going to fight anyone yet. Not until we know what's going on." Jimmy scolded.

Dean groaned. "Talking is so boring."

Jimmy gave Dean a pointed look. "It keeps us alive long enough to devise a better plan."

"What's better than eliminating the threat once and for all?" Dean asked blatantly.

Jimmy rubbed his temples. "Jonathan isn't going to be that easy to eliminate. He's a shadowhunter with demon blood; he's stronger than a regular Nephilim."

"You're forgetting one thing Jim-boy," Dean smirked, "I'm not a regular Nephilim."

Just like that, Dean bounced out of their hiding spot in the bushes and bounded up to the gargantuan bodyguard. "Hey ugly, what say you and I have a little fist fight right here? Street rules, just for shits and giggles?"

Jimmy winced as the guard wrapped an arm around Dean's neck in one fell swoop. Dean squirmed to get out of the headlock, but the other man held him until the door behind him swung open and a hand beckoned him inside. Jimmy cursed as his parabatai disappeared into the motel room. He weighed his options, trying to decide whether he should try to get reinforcements or go after Dean alone. Settling on the latter, Jimmy ran up to the motel room and rapped three times on the door.

The door opened again moments later and a lanky, silver-haired boy stood in the entrance. He had the darkest eyes Jimmy had ever seen and was surprisingly handsome for an evil mastermind.

"James Novak. Just the man I wanted to see." He spoke in a thick English accent that sounded cold and metallic in Jimmy's ears.

Jimmy peeked around Jonathan and saw that Dean was unconscious on the bed. Jonathan followed his eyes and smiled in a way that would have been reassuring if it weren't for the cold stare attached to it. "He's alive, for now. He will be out for the next few hours though. Enough time for me to make my pitch."

Jimmy cocked his head at Jonathan. "What pitch?"

"You know, like a sales pitch." Jonathan smiled even wider.

Jimmy backed away a step. "I'm not buying anything from you."

"Relax, Novak, it won't cost you anything. But if you want your little friend to survive the night you might want to hear me out."

Jimmy clenched his fists. "Threatening Dean is not your best course of action."

Jonathan cackled. "Aw, young love is so cute. Come in and sit down, we have much to discuss."

Jimmy hesitated, but Jonathan only needed to nod once to his bodyguard before the large man yanked Jimmy into the room and shut the door behind him.

Jonathan offered Jimmy a chair, but he refused it. Finally, Jonathan spoke, "I'm going to cut right to the chase. I want you."

Jimmy narrowed his eyes. "I'm flattered, but you're not my type."

"And you're hardly mine," Jonathan said calmly. "I meant I want you for my army."

Jimmy just glared at Jonathan as if he had completely lost his mind.

"I've been watching you, James. You have a lot of potential, but you waste your energy on things that you can't change." Jonathan spoke softly, almost as if he were empathizing with Jimmy.

Jimmy's eyes drifted to Dean. He appeared almost peaceful, if not for the growing bump on his forehead. Jonathan nodded slowly, pressing his fingertips together, as if the pieces of his plan were falling perfectly into place. "He will never share your feelings."

Jimmy whipped his gaze back to Jonathan, eyes wide in shock. He couldn't possibly know, could he?

"Oh please, the only person that doesn't know is Dean and that's because he's too thick to see what's right in front of him." Jonathan said, reading his thoughts.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Jimmy said defensively.

"I know more than you think," Jonathan said in a biting tone, "I've watched you two fighting lately. Ever since your little stunt things have gone sour between you two. You keep hoping Dean will change, but deep down you know he never will."

"I don't need Dean to change. We already share the most profound bond there is." Jimmy argued, though he sounded unsure of himself.

"Dean Winchester is your weakness and until you realize that you will never live up to your full potential." Jonathan snarled.

Jimmy avoided Jonathan's eyes, watching Dean for any sign that he would wake up and save him from this hellhole. "Consideration for someone else is not weakness," he whispered.

"It is when it's love." Jonathan grimaced.

Jimmy froze at that comment. Still not daring to look up from Dean's sleeping form, he hissed, "What would a demon like you know about love?"

Jonathan snickered. "I know that it's moronic to be attached to someone who pushes you away at every opportunity. I know that if you could keep your emotions in check you might actually be a good hunter. Hell, you might even be feared. But as it stands you're nothing but a pansy."

"Why did you want me here again?" Jimmy questioned.

"I want to recruit you." Jonathan stated matter-of-factly.

"Some salesman you are. I'll pass." Jimmy started toward Dean, but found that whenever he tried to move, he couldn't.

Jonathan clicked his tongue. "I wanted to give you a chance to join me of your own will. I can hold you here until you swear fealty to me out of sheer desperation, but I want us to be friends, James."

"I could never be friends with a demon." Jimmy growled.

"Fair enough, I suppose I'll let you get back to your life then," Jonathan said the words, but he didn't seem resigned to them, "Tell me, what's it like babysitting an overgrown child with daddy issues and an unnatural thirst for violence day in and day out? How does it feel to constantly be taking care of someone who never returns the favor, even once? Would he even notice if you were to suddenly disappear one day?"

Jimmy bit his lower lip, fighting back tears. Jonathan was just trying to get in his head. Nothing that he was saying was true. Of course Dean cared about him; of course he would be missed. And yet…

"I can't just leave Dean. He needs me." Jimmy's eyes had never once left Dean. He couldn't bear the thought of being apart from his parabatai, but part of him wondered if there was some truth to what Jonathan was saying. If he didn't always have Dean to distract him, he could focus more on becoming a better fighter. If he wasn't so hung up on Dean, he could work on becoming a better person.

Jonathan stepped closer to Jimmy, placing a cold hand on his shoulder. It was probably meant to be reassuring, but instead it just made Jimmy shiver. "I will make sure he gets back to the Institute in one piece."

He sounded so sincere, but could Jimmy really trust Jonathan?

"You swear you won't hurt him?" Jimmy asked, his voice only wavering slightly.

"No more than I already have, anyway." Jonathan admitted.

Jimmy nodded. "Okay, I will join you."

Jonathan grinned wickedly. "Excellent."

 **A/N: That's it for chapter 5! I hope you guys enjoyed it and if you have any comments at all I'd love to hear them!**


	7. The Beginning of the End

**A/N: I am sooooo sorry this took so long! I meant to post this much sooner, but then my computer needed a new power supply and I couldn't get onto my desktop to access this chapter until I got one. I hope I haven't lost any of you, I promise I'm getting close to the end now!**

Dean woke up the next morning face down on the lawn in front of the Institute with a massive hangover. Since he had had mornings like this before, Dean didn't think to question how he managed to get home. He pushed himself up onto his knees and wiped a bit of drool from the corner of his mouth. It took him a few minutes to gather the strength to stand, but when he finally did he slowly wobbled toward the front door of the Institute. Every little noise made it feel as though a jackhammer was being pounded into his skull as Dean made his way inside.

Ellen had already returned from dropping Jo and Sam off at school and was in the kitchen as Dean sauntered in.

"You're not setting a very good example for your brother," Ellen scolded, having already seen Dean passed out on the lawn.

Dean only whimpered in protest of her louder than normal tone which was not accommodating of his current state.

Ellen continued talking loudly, seemingly oblivious to Dean's discomfort, "I hope you're not planning on sleeping all day because it's not going to happen. There are things that need to get done and I need your help."

Dean slid a barstool away from the kitchen counter and plopped himself down on it before resting his head on the cool tiled surface. "Why don't you make John do it? He's the adult."

"I would, but he already left. God only knows when that man'll be back," she sighed. "Besides, you're more of an adult than he will ever be."

Dean groaned. "Why didn't Jimmy get reined in to help?"

Ellen paused for a beat. "James didn't come home last night. I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon." She appeared tired and worn down.

"Maybe he finally decided to live a little." Dean mumbled.

Ellen stared at Dean with wonderment. "What do you mean? Wasn't he with you last night?"

Dean lifted his head off of the counter. "Uh… Last night is a bit of a blur to be completely honest with you."

Ellen appeared even more worried. "This isn't like him at all."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Imagine that, the do-gooder acts like a typical teenager for a change and it _isn't like him_."

"This is serious, Dean. I'm really worried about him." Ellen insisted.

Dean blew out his lips. "I'll send out a search party as soon as my head stops throbbing."

Ellen stood with her hands on her hips. "For his parabatai you sure don't seem to be concerned that he's missing."

Dean tugged the neckline of his shirt down to indicate the rune on his chest. "I would know if he were in any real danger."

Ellen sighed. "By the time that rune alerts you to any danger it could already be too late."

Dean let go of his shirt and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Fine, I'll go now, just let me get some coffee to go."

* * *

Jimmy sat on the edge of the motel bed, wide awake and attentive. He hadn't slept a wink since the burly bodyguard, who was apparently named Tug, had carried away Dean's limp body.

Jonathan snored in the next bed with a sleep mask over his eyes. Jimmy cleared his throat loudly and Jonathan began to stir.

"Good morning, James. How did you sleep?" Jonathan asked after pulling off his sleep mask. The demon boy yawned and stretched and for a split second Jimmy actually thought he looked like a normal person; then he made eye contact with Jimmy and any semblance of humanity faded.

"Are you going to tell me what you want with me now?" Jimmy asked anxiously.

Jonathan frowned. "You look terrible. Was there something wrong with your mattress? I can send for a new one. We should be sleeping like kings anyway."

"Stop talking like you're my friend!" Jimmy snapped.

"You're testy this morning." Jonathan said.

"I don't like being toyed with. You threatened my best friend if I didn't join you; well now you have me so tell me what you want me to do so I can go home." Jimmy said curtly.

Jonathan clicked his tongue. "It's simple really; I want you to realize your potential."

"You told me that much last night, what sort of potential?" Jimmy shot back impatiently.

Jonathan rubbed his eyes. "It's too early for this," he nodded toward Tug, "Coffee. Now."

Tug left the room and Jonathan turned back to Jimmy. "Your potential cannot be fully met until you let go of your misguided attachment to Dean Winchester."

Jimmy snorted. "It's not misguided, he's my parabatai. We have a bond—"

"I'm not talking about that silly rune. That is a small detail that can easily be eradicated," Jonathan began, "What I mean is your little… _crush_."

Jimmy could feel his cheeks heat up. "I don't have a crush on Dean."

Jonathan grinned. "Good, now this time with feeling."

"I mean it. I'm not attracted to him." Jimmy argued.

"Maybe not, but you cannot deny that you love him." Jonathan said matter-of-factly.

"Of course, he's my parabatai. He's saved me countless times. I owe him my life." Jimmy said as if he had rehearsed the words.

"You owe him nothing." Jonathan barked.

Jimmy glared at him. "You wouldn't know anything about it. You've never shared a bond like ours!"

"Oh, would you shut up about your stupid bond already?" Jonathan seethed, "You use it to justify your feelings when you should be admitting how you really feel."

"I care about Dean; nothing more." Jimmy said, though he didn't sound very convincing.

"Bullocks," Jonathan exclaimed, "Admit it, you loathe having to follow him around and fight alongside him when he will never return your affections."

"I don't hate Dean." Jimmy said with little conviction.

"There's a fine line between love and hate, James."

Jimmy closed his eyes and shook his head violently trying to shake off Jonathan's words. "You're wrong. I don't hate Dean." he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything.

"Stubborn, violent, whorish Dean Winchester who doesn't consider your well-being before making decisions." Jonathan seemed to be enjoying listing Dean's faults which was making Jimmy angrier by the minute, "He has as little regard for his own safety as he has for yours!"

"No! He saved me. I would be living on the streets if it weren't for him. I don't hate Dean!" Jimmy could feel tears threatening at the corners of his eyes, but fought them off.

"One rescue does not a friend make." Jonathan stated.

"He's saved me other times as well," Jimmy insisted.

"Those times were only out of necessity. If you didn't have that mark connecting yourself to him, he would have let you die long ago." Jonathan remarked.

"You're lying!" Jimmy shouted. "He just doesn't know how to show emotion. He's a good man."

"Is he really though?" Jonathan inquired. "Tell me, how many times in the past year has Dean made you genuinely happy?"

Jimmy started to answer, but was startled into silence when Tug came back into the room with a paper cup of piping hot coffee which he handed to Jonathan before retreating back outside.

Jonathan sipped his coffee smugly. "Go ahead and mull it over, I'll wait."

Jimmy growled. "You don't know Dean like I do."

Jonathan scoffed. "You don't know the boy yourself."

"I do! He's complicated and stoic, but he's also just and caring. He loves his little brother more than anything…" Jimmy trailed off.

"More than you, even?" Jonathan cut in.

Jimmy flinched at that comment. "I'm not going to compare his love for his brother to his love for me."

Jonathan looked pleased. "So that's it then. You're jealous of Sam. You want their relationship, but you will never get it because Dean doesn't care about you. Admit it. You despise Sam Winchester and you blame Dean for making it so!"

Jimmy clenched his jaw and avoided Jonathan's eyes. Jonathan stepped closer to him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I can help you." Jonathan almost sounded sincere.

"I don't want your help." Jimmy tried to sound resolute, but his voice cracked.

Jonathan moved to stand side by side with Jimmy and wrapped his arm around Jimmy's shoulders. "You need me."

* * *

Dean had searched all over town for Jimmy with no luck. He even stopped in at the Mabel's Diner to see if Jimmy had decided to grab an early lunch. After questioning the waitress and coming up dry, Dean could feel his stomach beginning to rumble so he ordered himself one of Mabel's World Famous Bacon Cheeseburgers before setting out on his search once more.

Two hours later, Dean wound up back at the Institute empty handed. He didn't look forward to facing Ellen again, but luckily Jo and Sam were alone inside.

"Where have you been?" Jo asked curiously.

Dean plopped down beside her on the couch. "Out looking for Jimmy; where's your mom?"

"She went grocery shopping. How did you manage to lose Jimmy?" Jo asked skeptically.

"I don't keep track of everything he does, Joanna." Dean answered with condescension.

"Don't call me that," Jo complained.

"What's wrong, don't like you're name, Joanna Beth?" Dean teased.

"Shut up, Deanna!" Jo returned in an equally jovial tone.

Dean grumbled. "I should have never told you about that."

Jo laughed. "Don't dish what you can't take!"

Dean tousled her hair. "Brat," he mumbled affectionately.

* * *

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Dean sat up in his room, unable to sleep. Stealthily, he tiptoed into the hall and found himself in front of Jimmy's room. He stood there quietly for several moments before he realized what he was doing. He reached for the doorknob several times, but refrained from turning it out of fear of the empty room that lay behind the door.

Finally deciding to get a grip on himself, Dean ran his hand through his hair and stalked down the stairs toward the foyer.

 _This is ridiculous_ , Dean thought to himself. _I need some air._

Dean wandered the streets aimlessly with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his father's leather jacket. After a while, Dean sensed that he was no longer alone in his turmoil.

"You can come out, bloodsucker." Dean called behind him.

Benny appeared from the shadows. "Problem, Nephilim?"

Dean sighed, "What do you want, blood-breath?"

"Can we skip the insults and get to the heart-to-heart already?" Benny griped.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at Benny. "Why are you following me?"

Benny grinned, "As if you don't already know."

Dean kept walking, keeping Benny in his peripheral vision. "Nope, don't care either; just making meaningless conversation with the local scum."

"That hurts," Benny sounded genuinely offended, "I like you, Dean."

Dean stopped walking and stared quizzically at Benny. "Excuse me?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "Not like that—well maybe a little bit like that—but mostly it's because I can see passed the tough guy act. You're a lot like me. You want everyone to think you're a hard-ass, but deep down you're nothing but a fluffy teddy bear."

"Shut the fuck up," Dean grunted and resumed walking.

Benny bounded after Dean stubbornly. "Are you seriously going to act like the other night meant nothing to you? I thought we had something special, but if you want to deny our friendship…"

"We're not friends." Dean said sternly.

"Right, hunter versus predator and all that, your secret's safe with me." Benny winked.

Dean sighed and decided to stop fighting it. After all, Benny wasn't such a bad guy—for a bloodsucking monster. "Jim is missing."

"You're boyfriend?" Benny asked, trying to recall who Jimmy was.

"He's not—we're just—it's complicated." Dean said, flustered.

Benny nodded. "I feel you, brother."

"I've looked everywhere for him, all his usual hangouts, but it's like he doesn't want to be found." Dean confessed.

"Not to sound like a pretentious douchebag, but where's the last place you saw him?" Benny asked.

Dean looked like he was struggling to grasp the memory. "Two days ago… I remember seeing him yesterday though. I just can't remember what we did or where we went. The whole day is just a blur."

Benny chuckled. "I've had those days."

Dean sighed. "I have too, but that's not why I can't remember. I've been blackout drunk before and this is different… It's like someone's fucked with my mind and removed pieces of my memories."

Benny frowned. "How is that possible?"

Dean bit his lip. "I don't know, but whoever tried to erase my memory did a piss-poor job because I can tell something isn't right."

"Hey, don't you have tracking runes?" Benny asked hopefully.

Dean sighed. "I tried that already, but Jim must have used a deflection rune to prevent me from using them."

"What makes you think he's alone?" Benny asked seriously.

Dean stared perplexedly at Benny. "You think he's being held against his will?"

Benny shrugged. "It seems plausible. If he were alone, wouldn't he find some way to let you know he's okay?"

Dean clenched his jaw, heavy in thought. Suddenly a searing pain shot through his chest. Dean doubled over and let out a cry of agony. Benny placed a hand on Dean's back, kneeling to look into his eyes.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Benny asked worriedly.

Dean ripped open his jacket and tore at the layers beneath to reveal his parabatai rune which was bright red in color. Dean fell to his knees, grunting in pain.

"What the hell?" Benny reached out to touch the rune, but Dean brushed him away, attempting to get to his feet.

"JIM!" Dean called out in desperation. "I have to find him, he's in trouble… He's… Augh!" Dean clutched his chest again as his parabatai rune began to throb.

Benny looked around cautiously. "Do I need to call an ambulance?"

The throbbing emanating inside his chest was so great that it brought hot tears to Dean's eyes. He curled up into a ball until the pain finally subsided to a dull ache before vanishing completely.

After a few moments of silence, Benny leaned close to Dean and whispered. "Are you alright, buddy? People are staring."

Dean slowly lifted his head to look at Benny. He glanced down to inspect his parabatai rune which had faded to a light silver scar on his chest. Dean allowed the tears to flow freely as he whispered harshly, "He's gone. Jimmy Novak is dead."

* * *

 _Earlier that evening…_

"Are you ready to begin your new journey, James?" Jonathan asked in a chilling tone.

Jimmy was sweating bullets. "Will it hurt?"

Jonathan laughed and it sounded like two stones rubbing together. "It's not like drinking from the actual Mortal Cup. You're already a Shadowhunter. This will simply demonstrate your loyalty to me."

Jimmy still wasn't convinced. "But will I change at all?"

"James, by surrendering to me you will be able to release all of your troubling human emotions and realize your full potential. Isn't that what you've always wanted?" Jonathan asked.

Jimmy nodded slowly. "I guess… But can you please stop calling me James? That's a title reserved for people I actually care about."

Jonathan smiled wickedly. "You may choose any name you wish. You are reinventing yourself. I suggest you pick a worthy name for a soldier, one that you will be able to live up to."

Jimmy thought for a moment. He recalled the name of one angel that was largely unknown because of his rebellious nature; an angel that had fallen from grace for loving a human.

"I want to be called Castiel." Jimmy said confidently.

"Very well, Castiel. Are you ready for your new life to begin?" Jonathan asked.

Jimmy nodded. Jonathan used a large dagger to cut a line across his wrist, bleeding the drops into the Mortal Cup that his father had stolen from the Clave. Then, ceremoniously, he handed the cup over to Jimmy who drank from it warily.

Within seconds Jimmy could feel heat flowing through his veins, starting at his heart and extending out to the rest of his body. By the time the feverish feeling subsided Jimmy felt stronger and more powerful. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt free.

Jonathan grinned maliciously. "It is complete. You are now officially a Dark Shadowhunter, Castiel. Congratulations."

* * *

Dean barely made it back to the Institute before collapsing into a heap in Benny's arms. The vampire had walked with his arm wrapped around Dean's shoulders supportively the whole way back. Benny patted him firmly on the back before abruptly pulling away.

"I'm really sorry about your boyfriend, but the sun will be up in an hour and I really have to go. I'll check up on you tonight." Benny said softly.

Dean nodded and bid the vampire goodbye before preparing himself to face the chorus of sad faces that was sure to meet him inside.

 **A/N: That'll be it for this chapter! As always leave a review if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions!**


	8. Grief

**A/N: I've been super busy writing the past few days and I wanted to get this chapter out tonight! I'm considering taking the story in a different direction because I feel like the characters are pulling me there. I'll leave it open to the readers to decide where this chapter is going!**

The following day, the Institute was home to a family of heartbroken Shadowhunters. Everyone did their best to console Dean, but he made it nearly impossible, avoiding all contact. It was the weekend and everyone was moping around the den miserably when Sam let out an exasperated sigh.

"This sucks. I'm going to Mabel's." he declared as he slipped his cell phone in his pocket and headed for the door.

Ellen quickly jumped up and chased after him, "You're not going anywhere by yourself, Sam!"

"I'm meeting Jess," Sam reassured, though she still wasn't convinced. He added argumentatively, "I can't stand just sitting here; I have to get out and do _something_!"

"This isn't about any of us, Sam. We're here to support Dean. That's what families do." Ellen reached for his arm, but he yanked it away.

"That's bull—Dean has never been a touchy-feely person; you're doing this for yourself, Ellen." Sam noticed his aunt tensing up and softened his voice, "I miss him too, but Jimmy wouldn't want us just sitting around thinking about him. He'd want us to move on with our lives."

Ellen nodded. "No, you're absolutely right, Sam. Your phone's charged up?"

Sam nodded.

"Alright, call if you need anything, and be careful!" Ellen called after him as he slipped out the front door.

Jo slammed her fists into the couch cushions. "Screw this!" she exclaimed.

"Watch your language!" Ellen scolded. "Being upset does not give you an excuse to act out."

Jo glared up at her mother. "Why do you always treat me like a child?!"

Ellen narrowed her eyes at her daughter, "Maybe because you _are_ a child, Joanna Beth!"

"And I guess now that Jimmy's gone I'm back to being the baby?" Jo groaned.

"Where is this coming from?" Ellen asked, bewildered.

Jo blinked away tears, "Jimmy was the only one who didn't treat me like a baby."

Ellen sat next to Jo and tried to pull her into a hug, but Jo ducked out of the embrace. "We all loved him very much."

"You didn't love him enough to realize something's wrong!" Jo wailed.

"What do you mean?" Ellen asked.

"I mean, nothing adds up! Dean wouldn't just forget what happened to his best friend; Jimmy wouldn't abandon us no matter how angry he was with Dean. There's more to the story," Jo whimpered as her lower lip began to tremble, "We're missing something, I know it!"

"I think you're trying to rationalize your grief because you can't handle losing so many people that you care about at once. Why don't you head on up to your room and lie down?" Ellen said firmly, in her usual motherly no-nonsense tone.

Jo shook her head furiously. "I hate when you do this! You always disregard my ideas because I'm a kid and I'm sick of it!"

Ellen crossed her arms. "You will not speak to me in such a way, Joanna Beth. Go to your room, now."

Jo stormed upstairs, huffing and puffing all the way.

Ellen rubbed her temples before getting to her feet and heading over to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of whiskey. It was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

Dean was deep inside his own melancholy thoughts when he heard a door slam. Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, Dean sat up on his mattress and sprang to his feet. Carefully opening his door, Dean glanced on either side of the hallway before tiptoeing down the hall to Sam's room. Finding his brother's quarters empty, Dean checked Jimmy's room next, cursing himself when he remembered he would have to stop doing that. Finally, Dean wound up outside of Jo's room.

Gently, Dean knocked on the door and from within he could hear a distressed, "Go away!"

Refusing to give up that easily, Dean tried the doorknob which, to his surprise, was unlocked. Slowly, he turned the knob and pushed open the door. "Jo? It's me, Dean."

There was no response.

Dean opened the door the rest of the way to find Jo sprawled on her bed with her pillow covering her face. He silently slunk toward her and perched himself at the foot of her bed.

"I can wait," he said stubbornly.

After a few moments of silence, Jo peeled the pillow away from her face and looked down the bed at Dean who smiled kindly at her. Her face was red and puffy, understandable after the week she'd been through.

"How can you be so chipper right now?" she asked accusingly.

Dean shrugged. "Somebody has to."

"Not you, though! You just lost your _parabatai_! You should be falling apart." Jo whined.

Dean's smile faded. "I already did that. Clearly it's your turn."

Jo fought back a smile at Dean's sarcasm. "It's just not fair! Jimmy was the only person in this damn place that ever treated me like a real person and not a stupid kid."

Dean clutched his chest overdramatically, "That hurts."

"It's different with you and me. Jimmy actually convinced my mom to let me train to be a Shadowhunter. Now nothing's stopping her from going back on her word and making me study to be a doctor or something…" Jo groaned.

"I can talk to your mom and convince her to let me take over your training." Dean offered.

"Really? You'd do that for me?!" she asked excitedly.

"Of course, but is that all you were upset about?" he pressed, knowing there had to be something else that was eating at her.

"Actually…" she dragged out the word, contemplating her thoughts carefully before voicing them, "Something doesn't make sense about Jimmy's disappearance."

Dean sighed, "I know."

Jo prepared to go on the defensive, but then she processed Dean's words. "You… know?"

"Yeah, I've got missing memory fragments from the last night I saw him and I've been trying to make sense of what I _can_ remember for days." he admitted.

Jo frowned. "What can you remember?"

Dean furrowed his brow in concentration, "The last conversation I remember having with Jim was about some mundane attacks on the news. He thought there was a potential demonic lead there and I didn't believe him…"

Jo's eyes widened. "You don't think he went to check it out on his own?!"

"No, Jim would never hunt alone. That's the kind of reckless shit he yelled at me for doing." Dean explained.

"But you don't remember going with him?" Jo asked, trying to fit the pieces together.

"Not mentally," Dean noticed Jo's skeptical look and quickly elaborated, "It's like muscle memory. I know that we went to check out a lead together, but I can't remember much of that night at all, it's just a giant blur. Like I was drunk, but I don't remember drinking."

He grunted. "This is making no sense."

"No, it's actually making perfect sense!" Jo replied excitedly. "It sounds like you two fought a demon that wiped your memories and… left you largely unharmed outside the Institute. This is making less sense."

Dean shook his head. "It wasn't a demon."

Jo stared at him. "Dean?"

"Jim's theory wasn't about demons. It had something to do with a Shadowhunter; one that went rogue." Dean recalled.

"Valentine's Circle?" Jo guessed.

Dean's eyes lit up. "That's it! It had something to do with Valentine Morgenstern!"

Jo sighed, "Back to square one."

"No, we're finally getting somewhere!" Dean insisted.

Jo shook her head. "Dean, Valentine's dead. His circle's been disbanded. If they're plotting to overthrow the Clave they'd need a new leader to rally them all."

"Exactly," Dean grinned wickedly, "Valentine's son! Of course, Jim was saying he thought the kid was raising a demon army."

Jo gasped. "And you two got in his way so he wiped your memories!"

Dean's smile suddenly faded. "No, that doesn't make any sense."

"Why not?" Jo pressed, searching his eyes for answers.

"Why wouldn't he wipe both of our memories? Why wouldn't he kill both of us? There's too many holes here... Damnit, I wish I could remember!" Dean growled.

Jo flinched, then placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder. "We'll figure it out. We can ask around the shadow world and see if anyone knows anything."

Dean wrapped his arm around Jo and pulled her in close to him. " _We_ nothing, Jo-Jo, this is too dangerous for a kid."

Jo groaned. "I can handle myself, Dean!"

He chuckled, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I don't doubt that, kiddo. This is for me. I couldn't live with myself if I got you killed as well."

Jo wrapped her arms as far around Dean's stout body as they would go and nuzzled her face into his warm chest. "It wasn't your fault, Dean. You're a good man."

Dean kissed her forehead and rose from the mattress. "It means a lot to hear you say that, Jo-Jo." _Even if it's not true_.

* * *

Castiel woke up feeling refreshed. Glancing around the dark motel room, he wondered what had roused him. Then the knocking came again, steady and insistent.

Castiel slunk gracefully across the room and opened the door. Jonathan was standing before him, grinning triumphantly.

"Good morning, minion." he sounded chipper and excited. Castiel wanted to punch him in the throat. It must have showed because Jonathan tiptoed around him, shoving a hot cup of coffee into his hands and waiting until he took a sip before continuing. "We've got a big day ahead of us!"

Castiel only grunted in response.

"You could be a little more grateful, Castiel. I'm molding you into the strongest Shadowhunter the world has ever seen. You will be feared on every continent!" Jonathan gloated.

"I'm sure the penguins will be terrified," Castiel quipped.

Jonathan frowned. "If I wanted a stoic, sarcastic warrior I would have picked Dean to join my army. Your attitude had better improve rapidly or I will have you finished before you can begin your new training."

Castiel took a long sip of his coffee before responding in a monotone, "I hear you loud and clear, boss."

Jonathan smirked uneasily, "Good. Now get yourself cleaned up and meet me in my quarters in fifteen minutes. We have business to discuss."

Forty-five minutes later Castiel had just been briefed on his mission for the day and was instructed to equip himself with necessary weapons before setting out.

"Any questions?" Jonathan asked. When Castiel shook his head he added, "Excellent, I expect no complications then."

Castiel headed out with a group of dark shadowhunters that Jonathan had assigned him to lead. He had no qualms with his current task because he knew that his main goal was to rid the world of any and all weaklings, starting with the ever resilient downworlders. Only a couple days ago he would have protested to killing innocents, but now Castiel felt like a new man. He couldn't care less about _anything_ and he was ecstatic about it. Finally, he could focus on the one thing that mattered: hunting. Was this how Dean felt every day?

Dean. That name still gave Castiel pause when it crossed his mind; though not in the same way it used to. Now all he felt toward the green eyed teen was a burning hatred. He wanted to eviscerate Dean, physically and psychologically. So much time spent caring for the boy who would never return his affections. No more. Castiel was done being a slave to his own emotions. He was rebuilding himself, starting with Dean Winchester. Destroying the boy he once loved would bring his new persona no greater pleasure. Castiel would be the downfall of Dean Winchester.

* * *

Dean met up with Benny that night. The vampire had become something of a confidant for him. Benny was the only one who seemed to truly understand his pain and self loathing.

After a few nights of exchanging stories of lost loves, Benny reluctantly changed the subject, "Dean, I know you're still getting over the loss of your boyfriend, but there's been trouble in the shadow world lately."

"What kind of trouble?" Dean asked, legitimately intrigued by the possibility of a good fight. He hadn't been hunting lately and was itching to kick some demonic ass.

"Someone's been killing downworlders," Benny said slowly, testing the waters to gauge Dean's reaction.

Dean noticed the tension in Benny's voice and approached the subject with caution, "You think Shadowhunters are breaking the Accords?"

Benny nodded slowly, "It started with a few werewolf dens being raided and cleared out—no one thought anything of it at first because the dens were full of newly turned wolves with unpredictable behavior. Then they started attacking vamps—again, only the changelings at first."

Dean listened intently to every detail as Benny spoke.

"A few nights ago it really started to get bad. They attacked one of my friend's clans, Dean. They had been pacifists for centuries; there's no way any of them could have relapsed!" Benny's voice cracked as he finished his story and he looked to Dean for consolidation.

Dean gently patted Benny on the back. The vampire buried his face in Dean's chest, letting dry sobs wrack his whole body. "I'll find who did this. They won't get away with murdering innocent people."

This seemed to calm Benny down tremendously, though he still appeared shaken when he looked Dean in the eyes. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean could tell that his friend was afraid, so he said, "You should stay at the Sanctuary tonight. It's pretty roomy and there's no way whoever is behind these attacks would come anywhere near an Institute after breaking so many of our laws."

Benny looked relieved by the invitation, but was hesitant to accept. "Why would a Nephilim want to protect a lowly bloodsucker like me?"

Dean flashed a brilliant half-grin at Benny. "Come on, Benny, by now you must realize that you're more than just a pretty face to me."

Benny met Dean's gaze twice as hard. "Well, if you insist."

About an hour before sunrise, Dean had Benny all set up on a cot in the Institute's Sanctuary. He had his legs folded on the mattress and was sitting up against the wall, talking quietly with Dean who glanced at his watch and noticed the time.

"I should probably let you get your beauty rest," Dean teased.

Benny scoffed, "Are you implying I need it?"

"More than me, anyway," Dean replied with a wink.

Dean turned and started to leave the room when Benny called him back with a quiet, "Don't go."

Dean whipped his head to the side, still facing the doorway. "Did you say something?"

Benny fidgeted with his hands in his lap. "Forget it; goodnight, Dean."

Dean turned to face Benny, a single eyebrow raised quizzically. "Now, don't be a bitch. Tell me what's on your mind."

Benny sighed, "I just… I still don't feel _safe_."

Dean rubbed his temples. "We've been over this..."

"I know, I know, no one would dare attack an _Institute_ , but of course you would say that from the safety of your fancy, warded shelter. Plus, you're not on their hit list." Benny grumbled.

Dean laughed. "Is the big, bad, super human afraid?"

Benny flipped him off.

"No, seriously, I can leave you a nightlight if it'll make you more comfortable," Dean joked.

"Screw you," Benny retorted.

"Well what do you want me to do? Crawl up next to you and scare away the baddies?" Dean chuckled.

Benny looked like he was considering Dean's offer, even though he was pretty sure he wasn't serious. "Forget it."

Dean took a step closer to Benny. "Is this about your friend that got attacked?"

Benny avoided his eyes, "Possibly."

Dean took another two steps closer, "because you are the most badass vamp I've ever met. I never knew your friend, but I'm sure you can handle yourself better than he could."

Benny risked a glance in Dean's direction; big mistake, the handsome, green-eyed Nephilim was now only inches away from him. "That's the thing; he was the one who taught me how to defend myself…"

"What, like he was your sensei or something?" Dean laughed at his own joke, but then stopped when he realized Benny wasn't laughing with him. "Oh."

Benny refused to look at Dean, "Never mind; goodnight, Dean."

"Was he the son of a bitch who turned you?" Dean asked gruffly.

Benny finally looked at Dean as if he were going to contest his remark, but he only nodded in response. Dean sat beside him on the cot. Benny made room for him and the two sat side by side as he talked about his old master mostly with fond memories, though some that he detested.

Dean listened attentively all while Benny spoke. They spent the rest of the night like that and eventually ended up wrapped in each other's arms on the tiny single bed.

* * *

"Marvelous work, Castiel." Jonathan's snake-like voice snapped Cas out of his reverie.

"Thank you, master." Castiel replied with little volition.

"I think it's time we took things to the next level," Jonathan stated excitedly.

Castiel was still only half listening, the rest of his thoughts were imagining Dean Winchester's head on a spike. "And what would that be, master?"

Jonathan grinned wickedly. "I think it's time to send the Winchesters a message."

Castiel's ears perked up at the sound of his nemesis's surname. "How do you propose I do that?"

"We're going to hit him where it hurts; I'm sure you recall Dean's one weakness?" Jonathan asked, studying his immaculate fingernails.

"Of course," Castiel replied through gritted teeth. "How could I forget the one thing Dean Winchester loves more than himself? Sam Winchester."

Jonathan cackled. "Precisely; we are going to send a message to Dean that he will not be able to ignore. And to make sure it sticks, we will be using Sam Winchester as our own personal delivery pigeon."

 **A/N: And that's it for this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed and please please please review if you have any comments or complaints about the whole Dean/Benny angle because I'm starting to feel like they are writing themselves and I'm really excited about a prospective relationship between them!**


	9. Loved and Lost

**A/N: Chapter 9 is finally here! I'm so so so so so sorry this took so long, but my life has been so hectic lately and it's finally starting to calm down a bit so I sat down and started writing and then an idea came to mind so I'm going to run with it! I hope you enjoy this chapter, there will probably only be one more after it so please leave a review if you have any thoughts or concerns!**

The next morning when Sam awoke he checked Dean's room only to find it empty. The bed was sloppily made and everything in the room was otherwise untouched. As he was eating breakfast later, he voiced his concerns to Ellen who appeared disturbed by this news.

After waking Jo up, Ellen checked the training and weapons room for any sign of Dean, to no avail.

"What are you looking for?" Jo asked as she was pulling on her boots.

"Dean wasn't in his room and I didn't hear him come in last night." Ellen replied worriedly.

"Have you checked the sanctuary?" Jo suggested.

Ellen was skeptical about this idea, but went to search it nonetheless. The sanctuary was dark and ill lit, but with the help of her witchlight Ellen found Dean sleeping soundly on a cot in the corner. Unfortunately, he wasn't alone.

Ellen cleared her throat loudly, causing Dean to shoot up from the mattress and look around in a panic. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked.

Dean smacked his lips together before letting loose a big yawn. "I was sleeping."

Ellen eyed the sleeping form beside him suspiciously. "And that's all you were doing?"

Dean suddenly remembered where he was and quickly stood up, moving closer to Ellen in the hopes that she wouldn't get a closer look at his companion. "Yep, pretty boring, I know."

Ellen didn't believe him though and positioned her witchlight over the still sleeping body. She was only a little shocked to discover the person was male. She was more interested in finding out exactly what he was doing there.

"It's not what it looks like," Dean insisted.

Ellen focused her witchlight on Dean's face, "Really? Because it looks like you invited some strange mundie to sleep in our sanctuary not a thousand feet from where we all sleep. Honestly, Dean, what if he had gotten into the Institute? The Clave would have us all stripped of our marks!"

Dean glanced over to Benny, hoping he was a sound sleeper before attempting to calm down his stepmother. "That's not going to happen, Ellen."

"You don't know that Dean!" Ellen scolded. "How much do you really know this boy? What if he's one of Jonathan Morgenstern's followers?"

Dean frantically motioned for her to keep her voice down, but it was too late, Benny had already awoken and could be heard chuckling from the dark corner where he lay.

"That's a riot." Benny remarked coldly.

Ellen shone the witchlight back over the cot and just barely got a glimpse of a pale, grinning face. "Who are you?" she asked cautiously.

Benny squinted through the bright light, trying to adjust his eyes. Finally he found Dean's face in the bright light. "You haven't told your family about me? That hurts."

Ellen kept her witchlight where it was and glared at Dean through her peripheral vision. "What is he talking about, Dean?"

Before he could answer, Benny's fangs came out of their sheaths and he proudly bared his teeth at Ellen, who nearly dropped her witchlight out of fright.

"Benny, put those away before you hurt yourself," Dean barked.

"Fine," Benny relented, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes, "Now would you be a dear and put that light out?"

Dean reached for Ellen's witchlight, but she yanked her hand away from him. "What the hell were you thinking?! He could drain you in an instant and you were _spooning_ him!"

Dean blushed. "It's not like that. He's harmless."

"Thanks buddy," Benny quipped.

Ellen flashed a glare in Benny's direction. "You be quiet! You're lucky I'm not armed right now or you would already be in Edom where you belong!"

Benny raised his hands in surrender and Dean continued to try and ease Ellen's tension. "I think we should talk about this later, after you've had a chance to calm down."

"I'm not going to calm down, Dean. How could you think I would be okay with this?!" Ellen asked.

"I didn't realize I had to ask for your permission." Dean mumbled quietly.

"You do when it concerns the safety of my children." Ellen responded sternly.

"Right, cause Angel forbid one of your children kicks the bucket." Dean grumbled.

Ellen's eyes widened and her face filled with rage. "Excuse me?"

Benny snorted from his dark corner of the room, but other than that he stayed quiet. Dean met his eyes and they said silently, _it was nice knowing you, buddy._ Dean opened his mouth to apologize for his outburst, but Ellen wouldn't hear it.

"Go to your room," she said quietly, avoiding his eyes, "I can't even look at you right now." she sounded disappointed and resigned, as if she were finally giving up on her eldest son.

Dean sulked out of the sanctuary, dragging his feet and hanging his head as he went.

Benny clicked his tongue as he watched his friend go. "Some people just don't know when to keep their mouth shut."

Ellen glared daggers at Benny. "You're one to talk, bloodsucker."

Benny groaned. "Look, I have a name. It's Benny. It took me a long time to get Dean to use it; I'd appreciate not having to warm you up to the idea as well."

Ellen raised an eyebrow at the vampire. "Exactly how long have you known Dean?"

Benny shrugged, "A while."

Ellen wore her disgust plainly on her face as she said, "As soon as the sun sets, I want you out of this sanctuary. Stay away from my son. And that's not a request, it's an order. If I see your face again I **will** remove it from your body."

Benny gave a low whistle, "Message received."

* * *

That morning Sam met his best friend, Jess, on the bus. The two sat together as they did every morning and planned out their itinerary for after school.

"So we'll start at Mabel's, hit the library next for some studying, and tonight we'll catch the midnight showing of the latest horror flick and then you can walk me home." Jess stated confidently.

Sam smiled weakly, "Sounds great."

Jess frowned, "What's wrong? I thought you liked this plan?"

"I really do, and you have no idea how much I've been looking forward to tonight, but with everything that's been going on, I don't think my aunt will go for it."

"You mean because of what happened to your brother's boyfriend." Jess replied knowingly.

"Yeah, ever since he disappeared she's been constantly on edge. She has to know where all of us are at all times and being out past dark is definitely out of the question," Sam grumbled.

Jess thought for a moment before providing a solution, "What if we just cut out the movie? I've never really liked horror anyway; I only wanted to go so that I could have an excuse to cuddle with my boyfriend in a dark theater," Jess remarked bluntly.

Sam grinned. He loved how open and honest Jess was about their relationship. It reminded him of when they were five and he met her parents for the first time. Jess had introduced him as her "future husband." From that day forward Sam knew she was his soul mate.

* * *

As the teenagers exited the yellow vehicle, Castiel watched from the bushes. He understood his assignment perfectly and while he had a few reservations, he was comfortable carrying out this task. After all, why should they get to be happy when there was so much pain in the world? Someone should show them that the real world is not all rainbows and butterflies.

* * *

"I can't believe we studied that long!" Sam exclaimed as he and Jess were leaving the library that evening.  
Jess began walking backwards down the sidewalk, keeping her eyes trained on Sam's. "Sam, we're in high school now, there has to be some kind of rule that says you can't keep lying to yourself about what we are actually doing when we say we're studying."

"And who says I'm lying to myself? Maybe my definition of studying is just different from yours," Sam smirked.

Jess snorted. "In that case, you've done enough studying to earn yourself a PHD in Jess-ology."

They both laughed at that and walked the next few blocks in love-struck bliss.

"What a beautiful moment, I think I'll ruin it," Castiel said as he approached the giggling young couple.

Sam stopped suddenly when he recognized the boy standing in their path. Unfortunately, Jess kept back-stepping, unaware of what lurked behind her.

"What's wrong with you?" Jess asked obliviously.

Castiel chortled as he wrapped his arms around her and boomed, "Me."

Jess screamed, but her cries were quickly muffled by Castiel's strong hand. Sam stared at his brother's parabatai in disbelief.

"You're alive!" He finally shouted, starting towards Castiel with a broad grin on his face.

Castiel backed away, pulling a squirming Jess with him. Sam proceeded to advance on him though which only caused Castiel to disappear down an alley, dragging Jess after him.

Sam followed the pair until Castiel was cornered against a brick wall at the end of the alley.

"Come any closer and I'll snap her neck," Castiel snarled.

Sam stopped; his eyes wide, "Jimmy, what's gotten into you?"

Castiel's eyes flashed crazily, "I've been awakened. I feel stronger than ever and it's all because of Jonathan Morgenstern!"

Sam closed his eyes, shaking his head. He was sure his ears were playing tricks on him. "I'm sorry, but it sounded like you said you were _thankful_ for Jonathan Morgenstern."

Castiel beamed. "You heard me, boy. Jonathan has helped me realize my true power. No more will I be a weakling, cowering in the shadow of Dean Winchester. I am Castiel, soldier of the dark lord, and I will destroy all who once held me back!"

Jess kicked back at Castiel then, trying to break free, but he gracefully dodged the attack and pressed a pressure point on her neck, causing her to fade out of consciousness.

Sam advanced on Castiel with concern in his eyes, "Jess!"

Castiel dropped Jess at his feet and Sam winced as she crumpled like a ragdoll. Before he could rush to her aid, however, Castiel had drawn a long dagger and held it trained on Sam, daring him to take another step.

Sam halted the moment he noticed the weapon. "What has gotten into you, Jimmy? Why are you doing this?"

Castiel growled. "Would you please stop calling me by that filthy, shadowhunter name? It's bad enough I have to carry the face of the boy who bore it."

Sam gulped, never taking his eyes off of Jess, "What are you going to do to her?"

Castiel glanced down at Jess then, as if he had forgotten she was present, "Maybe nothing; maybe I will string her up by her pretty little neck as a warning for your brother… I haven't decided."

Sam curled his hands into fists at his sides, "If you hurt her, I swear to Raziel…"

"Raziel has no power against Jonathan," Castiel said with a hint of humor in his voice as if the idea were ridiculous, "Besides, that old bag of feathers has better things to do than concern himself with the affairs of his inferiors."

Sam clenched his jaw, "I didn't mean Raziel personally. Dean won't let you get away with this, and he carries the blood of the angel!"

"I am not afraid of Dean, boy." Castiel snickered, "Though I am looking forward to a battle with him to test my newly acquired strength. And I know just how I can do that."

Just then, Castiel swooped down and threw Jess's limp body over his shoulder and leaped to the top of the wall behind him with little effort. Sam rushed toward the spot where he had been at the same moment and wound up staring dumbfounded up at the rogue shadowhunter.

"You tell your brother to meet me at the old warehouse. He should remember the one; he's deflowered enough women there that they should declare it a national landmark. If he is not there by ten o'clock tomorrow night, the girl will become my new protégé—that is, if she doesn't go insane first." Castiel cackled, and then an instant later he was gone.

* * *

Sam threw open Dean's door and burst into his room without knocking. Dean was lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling while twirling his stele between his fingers. He glanced in Sam's direction nonchalantly when he entered and returned his attention back to a seemingly interesting spot on his ceiling.

"Dean! I need your help! Jimmy's alive and he's going to kill Jess unless you stop him!" Sam blurted out so quickly that Dean almost didn't catch everything he said.

Dean sat up and stared at his brother, "Hold up, what does any of this have to do with Jimmy?"

"He's alive!" Sam said exasperatedly. "Jess and I were leaving the library when we ran into him and he took her!"

Dean snorted. "Did Ellen put you up to this?"

Sam blinked. "What? This isn't a prank, Dean. Jess is in danger and if you don't meet Castiel at the old warehouse tomorrow night at ten he is going to turn her into a forsaken!"

Dean pocketed his stele and glared at his little brother. "Who told you about the warehouse?" The warehouse in question was a hotspot for demon activity and naturally one of the places that Dean and Jimmy would frequent.

"Are you not paying attention?! Jimmy told me!" Sam whined.

Dean shook his head. "Jim is dead," then just to prove his point he placed his hand over the spot where his faded parabatai rune lay just beneath his shirt, "I felt it when it happened."

Sam grumbled. "I know that, but it was him, Dean. He's alive, but he's not himself. I think he's been brainwashed by Jonathan. You have to go to the warehouse tomorrow night. Maybe you can save him as well as Jess!"

* * *

It was ten till ten. Castiel waited impatiently to see if Dean would show up. He had mixed feelings in his gut about seeing his nemesis. A part of him hoped that Dean wouldn't show up and that he would get to torture Sam's little girlfriend, yet still, another part of him longed to see Dean again, if only to rub his indifference in his face.

* * *

It was ten o'clock on the dot as Dean pushed open the creaky door and stepped into the musty old warehouse. He didn't see anyone at first and thought he had been tricked, but then a shadowed figured dropped from the rafters so unceremoniously that Dean thought it was just a cat or something. Then he stepped closer and realized that it was Jess, tied up and gagged. Her red-rimmed eyes widened whenever she saw him and pleaded for help. Dean started toward her, but stopped the moment he heard a voice cackle, "So glad you could make it, Dean."

The hairs on Dean's arms stood on end. He knew that voice, but at the same time it sounded different; colder and more detached. "Jim?" He called out, his voice nearly cracking on the one syllable.

Castiel sighed as he stepped into a beam of moonlight peaking in from a hole in the roof. "I am really getting sick of hearing that name."

At the sight of his parabatai, Dean's heart raced with emotion. "Jim, I'm sorry I abandoned you. I've had a lot of time to think about my mistakes and I know now that I was wrong to ever leave you. I think I finally understand why I'm constantly pushing you away though. I don't want to face my true feelings. I care about you, Jim. You're my best friend and I… need you."

Castiel stood dumbstruck for a moment. He stared at Dean in silence for a while before bursting out laughing, "Oh Dean, you always were a charmer. Unfortunately for you and very, _very_ fortunate for me, I am no longer in the business of being your puppet."

"Jim, please. This isn't you. Come down from there and talk to me, I'm begging you." Dean pleaded.

Castiel descended from the rafters as fluidly as a bird gliding through an updraft. He strode toward Dean purposefully and spoke in a sinister tone, "Get on your knees and say that."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"If you're going to beg me, Dean, you will do it properly. On your knees, like the scum you are." Castiel hissed.

Dean glanced toward Jess for a second who was momentarily unnoticed by her captor. Reluctantly, Dean lowered himself to his knees and glanced up at Castiel, "Jim, please come home. I miss you. We all do."

Castiel watched as a single tear slipped out of Dean's eye down his perfectly sculpted face and was briefly pained before snapping himself out of his reverie. He turned away from Dean, cursing under his breath. "You will regret that," he said in a biting tone.

"Jim, look at me." Dean whispered.

Castiel knew he had to stay strong. He had a mission, but he could feel his resolve crumbling. Against his better judgment he turned back to face Dean. He moved close to him, staring into his eyes and he was transported to another time.

* * *

 _Jimmy collapsed to the mat, breathing heavily as he he tried to break free of Dean's choke-hold. Dean recognized his friend's submissive behavior and relented, sitting up on his knees._

 _"That makes four wins for me! Wanna go for best out of ten?"_

 _Jimmy frowned, "I think we both know how that would turn out..."_

 _Dean nodded. "You're right, you wouldn't stand a chance."_

 _Jimmy watched the boy he had fought with many times before with a feeling of pride and affection. It didn't matter that he was so much better when they sparred because the only fights that truly counted were the ones where they fought as allies. Still, Jimmy found himself resenting how much stronger Dean was than him._

 _Dean noted his friend's inner dilemma and said something Jimmy would never have imagined him saying, "Do you want to be my parabatai?"_

 _Jimmy was taken aback. All he could think to say at the time was, "Why me?"_

 _Dean shrugged. "You're the best friend I've ever had and you always have my back. Why not you?"_

 _Jimmy stared into those emerald green eyes and recognized the sincerity in them. At that moment Jimmy couldn't imagine anywhere he would rather be than by Dean Winchester's side. "If you really mean it, of course, I would be honored to be your parabatai!"_

* * *

"Dean?" Castiel whispered in a shaky voice, reaching out a hand to touch Dean's stubbly cheek. "All I've ever wanted was for you to notice me…"

Dean grabbed Castiel's hips, squeezing them tightly with his fingers. Castiel could feel his eyes filling with tears and shut them quickly in an attempt to snuff out his impending weakness. Dean reached one hand up to gently caress Castiel's face while the other snaked around to the dagger at his belt.

Castiel's eyes flew open and he immediately shoved Dean backward, sending him skidding across the cold, metal floor on his back before drawing the dagger himself and stalking back toward Jess who screamed through the gag in her mouth. Dean pushed himself off the floor and raced toward the struggling pair and was just in time to see the blade of the dagger disappear inside Jess's gut. The girl let out a blood curdling scream as Castiel removed the dagger and released her before ascending back into the rafters.

Dean was by the wounded girl's side in seconds. He removed the gag and frantically pressed his hands to her stomach, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. Jess whimpered and Dean could tell she was fading fast. "Stay with me," he whispered.

"Sam?" She gasped.

Dean looked into the girl's pale face. "You're going to be fine, Jess. You'll see Sam really soon, just stay with me."

Jess coughed, sputtering up blood, "S-Sam, I l-love you." She then shuddered, her eyes rolled back into her head, and she was gone.

Dean stared at the corpse of his brother's true love, his lip trembling. "No. No, please, you can't die. Not now. Please, Jess!"

Castiel scoffed from the rafters, "Too little, too late, Dean. She's gone. And I've grown sick of this charade." He snapped his fingers then and Jess's body floated up into the air toward the cobwebbed ceiling of the warehouse. "Did you think I would come here without backup?"

A warlock floated out from behind one of the stacks of splintered wooden pallets and with a wave of his hand Jess's body erupted in flames. Dean stared up at the flaming body, horrified, "Why are you doing this, Jim?!"

Castiel let out a frustrated noise and barked, "Jimmy Novak is dead! It's time you realized that and moved on with your life, Dean Winchester."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! The next chapter will probably be an open ended epilogue to leave room for a possible sequel if that's what y'all want!**


	10. Epilogue

**A/N: Another chapter already? Yeah, I'm a bit of a writing machine lately. I wanted to get this chapter out since we're all probably stoked about season 12! So without further ado, the epilogue!**

"You're the worst brother ever!" Sam shouted at Dean whenever he told him the news about Jess.

Dean tried his best to console his distraught sibling, "I already told you I'm sorry, Sam. I fucked up. What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to go to hell!" Sam screamed, tears rolling down his face.

"You don't mean that, Sammy."

"And how would you know? You know nothing about me! You're a terrible person, Dean, and this just proves it! You spend so much time hunting and boning helpless women that you never even stopped to consider getting to know your own brother!" Sam shot back.

Dean's eyes darkened. "I know you just fine, Sam. I know that you are one of the smartest kids at that dumb mundane school of yours that you insisted on going to after meeting Jess. I know that you want to be a big shot lawyer some day and if you really put your mind to it, you will achieve that dream. I know that you have the most caring heart out of any fourteen year old, which is why you're saying all this now. I know you loved her, Sammy. It breaks my heart more than anything just living with the knowledge that I couldn't save her."

Sam stared at his brother for a long while after that, not saying anything, just letting the tears fall from his eyes freely. When he finally spoke, he asked, "How are you not falling apart right now? After what happened with Jimmy…"

Dean placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "I've fallen apart and put myself back together so many times that I'm pretty much immune to the pain by now."

"Plus you've got a vamp rebound in your pocket," Sam quipped humorlessly. Dean stared at Sam with a confounded look. Sam sniffled, "Don't play dumb, Dean, we all know about your little sanctuary tryst."

Dean blushed, "Nothing happened."

"I know. You're a good judge of character and would never let a vamp anywhere near the Institute if you didn't have a very good reason." Sam added.

"He's actually not a bad guy. Little bit rough around the edges, but not a monster," Dean mumbled.

"Sounds a lot like you," Sam said flatly.

Dean gave Sam a warning look which signaled the end of the conversation.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Ellen returned from the grocery store with a heavy mind. She sat in the kitchen, steeping a mug of tea, considering how she would approach the Winchester boys about what she had just learned. As she watched the steam rise up from her mug, her mind drifted to the rumors she heard floating around.

* * *

 _"_ _Did you hear about the Moore girl?"_

 _"_ _Poor thing, she didn't deserve that."_

 _"_ _I heard that Winchester boy did it. He's always hanging around that warehouse anyway. He probably lured her there to be his next victim."_

 _"_ _Wouldn't surprise me, the younger of the two was the last to be seen with the girl alive."_

 _"_ _Just tragic; those boys are monsters and ought to be locked up."_

 _"_ _Ellen Harvelle should be ashamed of herself for taking those boys in."_

 _"_ _You can't blame her though, it's not like it's an easy job raising criminals."_

* * *

"Ellen? Ellen?! ELLEN!" Dean snapped Ellen out of her thoughts. Sitting across from her at the table, he watched her cautiously, afraid that she might snap at any minute.

"Dean, we need to talk." she decided to just come right out with it. She had to do what was best for her children in the long run—all three of them.

...

"You're kicking me out?!" Dean shouted, enraged.

Ellen stared into her tea, which was now lukewarm. "I'm sorry; I just can't find any way around this. The whole town wants your head on a pike and I can't blame them."

"You know I'm innocent though! It was all J—Castiel. That son of a bitch killed Jess in cold blood. Why don't you believe me?" Dean barked.

Ellen sighed, "Of course I believe you, Dean, but we can't very well tell the mundanes that your parabatai was brainwashed into going rogue and used a warlock to do his bidding! We'd expose the whole Institute and possibly the rest of the Conclave!"

"You've always been good at coming up with stories. You could say it was arson, an accident. Use some of your pull, Ellen, please!" Dean pleaded.

Ellen shook her head. "There's only so much I could say, Dean. I've been over it in my head a thousand times and the safest course of action is for you to get out of town. I can say you went to find John. It wouldn't be so hard to believe with your track record."

Dean clenched his jaw. "I can't just leave Sam. He's my brother and he's hurting."

"I can take care of Sam," Ellen reached across the table and took Dean's hand in her own, "He needs stability more than anything right now and he has that here. Besides, a life on the road is no place for a fourteen year old boy."

Dean pulled his hand away swiftly. "But it is the place for a seventeen year old with serious neglect issues?"

Ellen rubbed her temples. "Why are you fighting me on this, Dean? You never liked the small-town life anyway. This could be your chance to get out. See the world. Gank some demons, as you so eloquently put it."

"Spare me the _bright side_ talk, I know you've been waiting for something like this to happen. Now that Jimmy's gone you have an excuse to get rid of me," he pushed himself up from the table, "Well congratulations, Ellen, you got your wish. I'll leave you to lead a perfectly normal, happy, mundane life and you won't have to worry about the fuck-up ruining your plans to be Suburban Mom of the Year."

Ellen could feel tears threatening at the corners of her eyes. "You think I want this?! You think this isn't killing me inside, having to send you out on your own?! I want to help you, Dean, I really do. And this is the only way that logically works for everyone involved!"

Dean glowered down at Ellen as he said in a monotone, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." After that, he stormed out of the room, leaving Ellen to cry over her cold tea.

* * *

Dean was hastily stuffing clothes in a duffel bag when a voice spoke from the doorway, startling him into dropping the bag.

"Going somewhere?"

Dean turned around to find Sam watching him attentively. "Hey, Sam, I was just uh…" he considered his next words carefully before deciding he wasn't going to lie to his brother. "Yes, I'm leaving."

Sam glared daggers at Dean. "I'm sorry, you're leaving? Just like that? After getting my girlfriend killed, you think it's best to just ditch us all?"

Dean picked up his duffel bag and continued to fill it. "After everything that's happened, I thought you would be thrilled to see me go."

Sam snorted, "Figures. With how much you say you hate dad, is it any wonder you actually turned into him?"

Dean stopped what he was doing, dropped his duffel, and slowly turned to face Sam. "I am nothing like dad."

"Right, you're abandoning your own kin and running _away_ from all of your problems. At least dad is chasing his." Sam said.

Dean set his jaw. He considered at that moment telling him that he was actually being forced out of the house, but then he thought of himself growing up having known and lost his mother at such a young age. Could Dean really burn the one parental relationship Sam had left for his own selfish reasons? No; he wouldn't do that to Sam, but most of all he couldn't do that to Ellen because despite everything she was still the closest thing to a mother he had and he still loved her more than anything.

"You're right. I'm a coward," Dean said gruffly. "I don't know how to be there for you right now because the truth is: I'm hurting pretty badly myself. This whole Jimmy/Castiel situation has me tied up in knots and the only way I can resolve it is if I hunt that son of a bitch Jonathan down and kill him myself."

Sam had a feeling Dean was lying to him, but there was something in his speech that inspired him to say, "I'm going with you."

Dean cracked a smile, "I'm flattered, but no, you're not."

"Yes, I am, Dean! I need to do this, for Jess. The only way I can get closure from her death is by avenging her." Sam insisted.

Dean coughed, hiding a laugh, "Now who sounds like dad?"

"I'm serious, Dean! There's nothing for me here."

"There's school," Dean argued.

Sam rolled his eyes, "I was only ever interested in school because of Jess. She had this idea that we would be a cop-lawyer crime-fighting duo. Without her, all of that seems awfully moot."

Dean put his hands on his hips, "What about Ellen and Jo? They need you. It's been a rough couple of months for all of us, but them more than anyone."

"They'll be fine. They have each other," Sam stepped a little closer to Dean, "I'd be more worried about you, out there on the road all alone. Who will you lean on for support?"

Dean scoffed. "I don't need anyone."

"That's a load of crap;" Sam said bluntly, "We both lost someone we love. We can get through our grief together."

Dean decided to take a different approach this time, "You aren't properly trained for shadowhunter combat. I won't put you in the line of fire."

Again, Sam had a rejoinder for that as well; he really would make a great lawyer some day, "I know more than you think, Dean. I've spent many summers in the library studying up on demon lore. I can tell you exactly how to send those unholy monsters back to Edom. With a few pointers from you on execution, I'll be ganking demons left and right. And with my extensive knowledge of the actual techniques, you could become an even stronger shadowhunter."

Dean only had one argument left, "Ellen won't like it."

"It's not Ellen's choice," Sam replied almost immediately after the words left Dean's mouth. "We can still keep in touch with her and Jo if she'll allow it, but if not…" Sam trailed off and Dean thought he had lost his train of thought before he added, "We're Winchesters, Dean. We're stronger together than apart."

That was all the convincing Dean needed. "Alright then, go get your stuff. We leave in the morning."

* * *

That night, Dean was awoken to a large crack on his window. He stumbled out of bed and fumbled with the latch before pushing up the pane. He was surprised to find a sullen Cajun vampire lurking outside the Institute. He motioned Benny toward the Sanctuary and crept down the stairs as quietly as he could.

"You got a death wish or something?" Dean asked.

Benny chuckled, "Harsh. I would think you'd be flattered to find a handsome immortal knocking on your window at night."

Dean flushed. "That wasn't a threat from me. Did you forget about the last time we were caught?"

Benny grinned, showing glistening white teeth. "You mean your foster mom? She's feisty. I like her."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Why are you here, Benny?"

"I thought we had plans to go shake up some demons tonight and ask about that friend of yours," Benny noticed Dean's confused expression and frowned, "Unless of course, you forgot."

Dean rubbed his eyes. "It's been a long couple of days. I actually found Jimmy, and didn't. It's a little hard to explain, but long story short, Sam and I are headed out of town tomorrow."

Benny looked hurt. "You would leave without even saying goodbye?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at the vampire. "I wasn't aware our friendship meant that much to you."

Benny sighed. "It doesn't. I just… Forget it."

"What?" Dean asked, genuinely lost.

"I just thought, wherever you're going, I could somehow be of some use to you," Benny said slowly, watching Dean carefully for a reaction.

Dean was still groggy from sleep, but eventually he caught on to Benny's meaning, "Of course! When would a vicious bloodsucker _not_ be a useful connection in this business?"

Benny smirked, not even fazed by the use of the b-word, knowing it was used with nothing short of affection.

* * *

The next morning the boys were packing their things into their dad's old impala while Ellen and Jo stood idly by. Ellen had her arms folded in front of her chest and a permanent look of disapproval on her face while Jo watched the boys longingly, continuously begging them to take her along.

"Please, Dean! I promise I'll be good. I don't want to go back to school, it's boring there!" Jo griped.

Dean squeezed the last of his bags into the trunk and slammed it shut before turning to Jo and tousling her hair. "I'm sorry, Jo-Jo, but it was hard enough convincing your mom to let me take Sam along."

"This is so unfair," Jo pouted.

Dean knelt next to his foster sister and pulled her into a hug, whispering into her ear as he did so, "If you behave yourself I'm sure in a few years your mom will warm up to the idea of you coming along on a few hunts."

Jo pulled away from the embrace, grinning from ear to ear. "You think so?!"

Dean kissed her forehead, "Possibly. If you stop bugging her about it now," he added.

Jo jumped up and wrapped her arms around Dean's neck one last time before turning her attention to Sam. "It's gonna be really lonely without you at school."

Sam smiled, touched by her admission. "You'll just have to make some friends."

Jo snorted, "Fat chance of that. That school consists of nothing but a bunch of boring, stuck up mundies!"

Dean cut in then, "It'll be good for you and your mom to spend some one-on-one time together, Jo-Jo."

"If you say so," Jo said, but went over and gave Ellen a hug regardless.

Ellen said her goodbyes to Sam first, holding his face in her hands, her eyes filling with tears, "You don't have to do this, you know. It's not too late to change your mind."

Sam smiled sadly up at Ellen, "I know, but it'll be good for me to spend some one-on-one time with my brother."

Ellen beamed. "You're starting to sound like him already." she pulled him in for a hug then and when they separated she kissed him on the cheek and said, "If you want to come home for any reason, the Institute is always open to you…" she glanced toward Dean then before continuing, "And your brother."

Sam nodded. "We'll visit when we can."

" _If_ we can," Dean interrupted. "I don't want to lead some nasty netherworld creature straight back here."

Ellen beamed up at her eldest foster son. "I appreciate that, Dean. I'm so sorry, for everything that's happened. I do love you though," she turned back to Sam then, "Both of you."

Dean took a moment to embrace his foster mother and then him and Sam piled into the Impala and were backing out of the drive. Ellen and Jo waved the boys off until the car was completely out of sight before heading back into the Institute to start their mundane day.

 **A/N: And there we have it! Phew! I can now safely call this story _complete_! I really enjoyed writing this and wouldn't mind continuing it at all. Once again, if you are interested in a sequel, please please please leave a review and tell me what you think! And also if you want to suggest a particular pairing (you may have noticed me leaning towards a certain pairing in particular despite the story being initially about a completely different couple) or even just to say "Hi" my inbox is always open! Thanks so much for reading guys! **


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